Style Evolution

“Dress for the job you want, not the job you have”

Just the other day I bought the most beautiful skirt from H&M. It was sky blue with orange leaves on it. It’s long, so it covers my knees. I figure I could wear it  with some nude pumps or cute sandals. I love the look of it and know it would go over well in the office…in the office?

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My style is maturing. I no longer can buy clothes for the weekend because I spend a majority of my time at work and I need to look the part. Now when I shop, I am always on the lookout for professional white or black shirts or dresses with solid colors or prints that would be perfect for a spring/summer day in the city.

I am even about to purchase my first full-suit.

I used to be the person that swore I would never adapt to the corporate culture of dressing. I thought it wasn’t “becoming” and wouldn’t allow me to be who I truly am at my core. However, what I am learning is that it feels good to wake up every morning and get dressed for work. It feels great to get compliments on your outfits or to look in the mirror and admire how professional you’ve become. My maturity in the way that I dress has also helped at social and networking events where I always wear something that can be a conversation piece like printed pants or a beautiful necklace. People come up to me off the basis of liking something that I am wearing and the conversation is sparked instantly.

I think my evolution in the way I dress at work illustrates that I am starting to take it all seriously. The way you present yourself, is how you are perceived by others. If you don’t take pride in how you look then other people may write that off as a lack of self-care and treat you less than you deserve. As superficial as investing in clothes may seem, we live in a superficial society and it all ties into your professional growth. However, to be honest, I still have my days where I just don’t care and wear whatever I want. You can’t stay on all the time…can you?

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Thank You Solange

“Born June 24th Wore tap shoes and tutus everywhere 3-5 Wrote first song (A jingle for the United Way) 9 Felt God 10 Met first love (in a parking lot) 13 Wrote/Released my first album for weird teenagers 15 Started writing songs for other awesome people 16 Lost my best friend Marsai, to gun violence 17 Pregnant 17 Married first love 17 Gave birth to angel baby 18 Financially independent 19 Bought my first house 19 Divorced 20 Wiled the hell out 20-22 Wrote/ Released second album 22 Fell head over heels in love again 22 Insane panic attacks and agoraphobia and convinced I would die by 30 – 24 Wrote/released third album 26 Started record label and cultural hub 27 Released first album on label 27 Freed myself of “friends” on the journey to womanhood 27 Started writing most proud of body of work 27 World called me crazy 27 Married Best Friend 28 Completed 4th album (72 hours before turning 30) Just really getting started 30 🍾 I say all of that to say…don’t eveeer let anyone write your story for you. They can talk, they can doubt, and they can say what they wanna, but only you have the words to narrate this ting we call life. So much gratitude for all of your wishes. So much gratitude for love. So much gratitude for freedom. So much gratitude for life. Ps: About to take a note from Paris Hilton and have 4 parties.”

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Just when I was feeling uncertain about life, and all of its offerings, this happened. Solange dropped a reflective timeline of the critical and seemingly life changing moments of her life and not only did it illustrate growth and strength but process, purpose and having faith through it all. It really brought things full circle. Sometimes, we tend to whine over the things that we don’t have in our lives, instead of acknowledging all that we do have in our lives and Solange did this seamlessly.

The best part about her timeline, if you will, was that I was able to relate to some of her highlights. When I was 10 years old I experienced God for the first time. I was at a Benny Hinn service when it happened. When I was a teenager, I found love, however it wasn’t in a parking lot. And now that I am 27, and feeling strange, restless, and uncertain, Solange showed me that 27, could actually be one of the most transformative years of my life, if I just allow it to be.

So I wanted to share this reflection with you guys if you haven’t seen it as yet, because it really helped me put things into perspective. Patience is key. Discovering bits, pieces and passions about yourself is epic. Trusting the process is necessary. Keep going. Keep moving. You’ll get there.

#Podbyky Epi 9 “Surviving Life After College”

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On this episode of Lifestylebyky Podcast, I talk to Sharee Hereford, of DormRoom Tv and we chat about our experiences after graduating from college. I remember as soon as I graduated, someone asked me, “So What’s Next?” I was so taken back by the question, primarily because it was my first day back home from college, so my sentiments were can I just  enjoy this moment.

Sheree and I swap stories of the struggle of finding a job, settling for jobs that were not aligned with what we wanted to do, and how all of those opportunities, post college, ultimately leads you to  finding yourself and your purpose.

Feel free to comment below if you relate.

Hope you enjoy.

Links to everything Sharee has going on, that was mentioned on the Podcast below:

Dorm Room TV

Facebook | Instagram | Twitter  | Snapchat: Dorm Room TV

Sistah Girls Book Club FB group (online book club)
Twitter | Instagram | Snapchat: SistahGirlsbc

 

#Podbyky Epi 8 “Understanding Cultural Appropriation”

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On this episode of Lifestyle By Ky, I am joined by Kadia, an amazing blogger and lifestyle and culture contributor as well as Myleka an Educator and my best friend and we talk candidly about Cultural Appropriation, the danger of ignoring it, and the excessive use of the N word. The discussion is guided by Jessie Williams speech during the BET awards, where he broke down for us all, why we are sick and tired of people wearing our culture like costumes and not respecting it or us! Hope you enjoy!

Understanding Cultural Appropriation

Appreciation or Appropriation? This week I tackle the issue of Cultural Appropriation and the excessive use of The N word in the black community with my amazing guests Kadia and Myleka. These discussions are important to have because people need to know this is a real issue, it’s deep rooted, and it has some dangerous ramifications.

Why are we mad? Well, there are some people in the world that strip us of our culture, then turn around and profit from our culture (the same culture that they ridicule), and then try to make it their own. The Plunder is real. For example, check out this video that Cosmo just released about “the new trend.”God knows we’ve been wearing braids for years, why is this new? why isn’t a black woman one of the models? We’re mad because we are being erased in a sense, or deemed not good enough to partake in our own culture, especially in main stream media.

To drive the conversation forward, I used Jessie Williams speech from the 2016 BET awards. He said so eloquently :

” We’ve been floating this country on credit for centuries, yo, and we’re done watching and waiting while this invention called whiteness uses and abuses us, burying black people out of sight and out of mind while extracting our culture, our dollars, our entertainment like oil – black gold, ghettoizing and demeaning our creations then stealing them, gentrifying our genius and then trying us on like costumes before discarding our bodies like rinds of strange fruit. The thing is though… the thing is that just because we’re magic doesn’t mean we’re not real”

I asked my guest the following question, What was one of the most offensive acts of cultural appropriation in pop culture? And now I can actually answer this question for myself and say, the worst occurrence, in my opinion, happened this week, where Melania Trump plagiarized Michelle Obama’s speech and then lied about it. Huh? Really? I shot this podcast a week before the Melania Trump scandal, but I am pissed about this. Is this presidential race a joke? Like seriously, why do we have to fight so hard for everything we have, for everything we work so hard to attain, and why are some people so entitled to just take, take, take from us every chance they get?

Anyway, that was just some back story. The podcast is below. Hope you enjoy!!!!

Podbyky

 

 

 

Tunnel Vision.

Look to the left of you. Now look to the right of you. Sometimes, in life we get caught up looking at what’s going on with everyone else and not focusing on us, which is the path straight ahead. I’ve always prided myself on being the type of person with tunnel vision. I’ve never wanted to follow what others were doing and always tried to remain true to who I was. However, lately I’ve been feeling lost. I feel as if life is just moving and I’m still trying to figure it all out. I look at the people on social media, and the people who I interact with in my everyday life and it’s just a lot going on. From the multiple degrees to the wedding engagements and marriages, it can sometimes feel like you’re doing something wrong because these things are not happening for you.

Recently I saw a Brittany Spears meme, coming to an understanding with her breakdown at 26-years old. You remember that break down; she shaved her head and was running through the streets with a umbrella. Although I am not feeling that overwhelmed, I understand the pressures of the world and how consuming figuring out your life can be.

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So what can we do?

Focus on you, is often the answer that we hear, but that’s easier said than done. I do believe in tunnel vision however. I believe that you should figure out what you want in life and create an intricate blue print of how you will get there. Be realistic as well. There are going to be ups and downs so we have to be conscious of the setbacks and the triumphs. Furthermore, I believe you should never succumb to comparing yourself to others. We all are unique, we all are born at different times, we all have separate journeys for a reason and the minute we try to compete with others we’ve already failed.

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Podcast Revamp All Summer 16 #PodByKy

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I started a podcast for Lifestyle By Ky around January of this year, just to get some things off my mind and talk it out. The funny thing is most people don’t know my podcast exists, which is what I am seeking to change. This summer, I decided to work on a podcast project of sorts, where I would interview various people on different topics that I cared about. So far I’ve done interviews on “Life After College” “The Reality of Marriage” “The Male Perspective” and “The Golden Age of TV and Life” just to name a few things and the best part is starting this week and every week after for the rest of the summer and fall you will be able to hear it too.

So a few things before becoming a listener  of Lifestylebyky Podcast that I want to be totally honest about:

1.) My voice is absolutely ANNOYING!  Brace Yourselves!

2.) My laugh is more annoying than my voice, something I never knew!

3.) I’ve gotten the question a lot lately, what’s your podcast about? Man I don’t know, whatever I feel like talking about when I wake up for the day.

4.) My podcast are very unconventional. I know the standard is to be in a very quiet room, where you can hear a pin drop. But I don’t have time for all of that. Sometimes, topics come to me when I am jogging through prospect park and boom a podcast episode is created, so if you’re anything like me you have to go with the flow as my listener!

5.) My guests definitely are dropping GEMS! Each week gets better and better and better!

6.) What I want from all of this is growth. I want the podcast to evolve eventually, but I have to start somewhere. I want to discover more about me and what I am capable of doing as well.

You can listen to my podcast on my blog Lifestylebyky.com under ThePodcast tab. You can also subscribe to my Soundcloud and listen to it there. It will be on Itunes soon, very soon and another update for that milestone will come shortly.

Happy Listening #PodByKy

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Mason Jar Fun!

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Mason Jars can turn any event into a festivity. What that basically means is they’re totally fun! My friend had a Graduation BBQ recently and we decided to invest in the Mason Jars. They would be the “thing” everyone would want to have while at the party and could take home with them as a souvenir. I found a pack of 12 at my local target for just $10.00

http://www.target.com/p/ball-1-quart-32-oz-regular-mouth-canning-jar-set-of-12/-/A-12911372

They were small jars, specifically for pickles and canning other liquids and foods but they ended up being perfect. With the addition of a decorative straw and a sticker on the front where guests could write their names on it, these jars were a hit and can be great for your next shindig as well.

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