“Dress for the job you want, not the job you have”
Just the other day I bought the most beautiful skirt from H&M. It was sky blue with orange leaves on it. It’s long, so it covers my knees. I figure I could wear it with some nude pumps or cute sandals. I love the look of it and know it would go over well in the office…in the office?
My style is maturing. I no longer can buy clothes for the weekend because I spend the majority of my time at work and I need to look the part. Now when I shop, I am always on the lookout for professional white or black shirts or dresses with solid colors or prints that would be perfect for a spring/summer day in the city.
I am even about to purchase my first full-suit.
I used to be the person that swore I would never adapt to the corporate culture of dressing. I thought it wasn’t “becoming” and wouldn’t allow me to be who I truly am at my core. However, what I am learning is that it feels good to wake up every morning and get dressed for work. It feels great to get compliments on your outfits or to look in the mirror and admire how professional you’ve become. My maturity in the way that I dress has also helped at social and networking events where I always wear something that can be a conversation piece like printed pants or a beautiful necklace. People come up to me off the basis of liking something that I am wearing and the conversation is sparked instantly.
I think my evolution in the way I dress at work illustrates that I am starting to take it all seriously. The way you present yourself is how you are perceived by others. If you don’t take pride in how you look then other people may write that off as a lack of self-awareness and treat you less than you deserve. As superficial as investing in clothes may seem, we live in a superficial society and it all ties into your professional growth. However, to be honest, I still have my days where I just don’t care and wear whatever I want. You can’t stay ON all the time…can you?
“Born June 24th. Wore tap shoes and tutus everywhere 3-5 Wrote first song (A jingle for the United Way) 9 Felt God 10 Met first love (in a parking lot) 13 Wrote/Released my first album for weird teenagers 15 Started writing songs for other awesome people 16 Lost my best friend Marsai, to gun violence 17 Pregnant 17 Married first love 17 Gave birth to angel baby 18 Financially independent 19 Bought my first house 19 Divorced 20 Wiled the hell out 20-22 Wrote/ Released second album 22 Fell head over heels in love again 22 Insane panic attacks and agoraphobia and convinced I would die by 30 – 24 Wrote/released third album 26 Started record label and cultural hub 27 Released first album on label 27 Freed myself of “friends” on the journey to womanhood 27 Started writing most proud of body of work 27 World called me crazy 27 Married Best Friend 28 Completed 4th album (72 hours before turning 30) Just really getting started 30 I say all of that to say…don’t eveeer let anyone write your story for you. They can talk, they can doubt, and they can say what they wanna, but only you have the words to narrate this thing we call life. So much gratitude for all of your wishes. So much gratitude for love. So much gratitude for freedom. So much gratitude for life. Ps: About to take a note from Paris Hilton and have 4 parties.”
Just when I was feeling uncertain about life, and all of its offerings, this happened. Solange dropped a reflective timeline of the critical and seemingly life-changing moments of her life and not only did it illustrate growth and strength but process, purpose and having faith through it all. It really brought things full circle. Sometimes, we tend to whine over the things that we don’t have in our lives, instead of acknowledging all that we do have in our lives and Solange did this seamlessly.
The best part about her timeline, if you will, was that I was able to relate to some of her highlights. When I was 10 years old I experienced God for the first time. I was at a Benny Hinn service when it happened. When I was a teenager, I found love, however, it wasn’t in a parking lot. And now that I am 27, and feeling strange, restless, and uncertain, Solange showed me that 27, could actually be one of the most transformative years of my life if I just allow it to be.
So I wanted to share this reflection with you all if you haven’t seen it as yet, because it really helped me put things into perspective. Patience is key. Discovering bits, pieces and passions about yourself is epic. Trusting the process is necessary. Keep going. Keep moving. You’ll get there.
Look to the left of you. Now look to the right of you. Sometimes, in life, we get caught up looking at what’s going on with everyone else and not focusing on us, which is the path straight ahead. I’ve always prided myself on being the type of person with tunnel vision. I’ve never wanted to follow what others were doing and always tried to remain true to who I was. However, lately, I’ve been feeling lost. I feel as if life is just moving and I’m still trying to figure it all out. I look at the people on social media and the people who I interact with in my everyday life and it’s just a lot going on. From the multiple degrees to the wedding engagements and marriages, it can sometimes feel like you’re doing something wrong because these things are not happening for you.
Recently, I saw a Brittany Spears meme, that said they finally understood her breakdown at 26-years old. You remember that break down; she shaved her head and was running through the streets with a umbrella. Although I am not feeling that overwhelmed, I understand the pressures of the world and how consuming figuring out your life in your mid-twenties can be.
So what can we do?
Focus on you, is often the answer that we hear, but that’s easier said than done. I do believe in tunnel vision, however. I believe that you should figure out what you want in life and create an intricate blueprint of how you will get there. Be realistic as well. There are going to be ups and downs so we have to be conscious of that. Furthermore, I believe you should never succumb to comparing yourself to others. We all are unique, we all are born at different times, we all have separate journeys, and the minute we try to compare and compete with others we’ve already failed.