#Podbyky Season Finale “Meet Me At The Alter” w/Chris & Bri

 

I’m just going to start off by saying Podcasting is Life. When I first decided I wanted to do a podcast, I wrote a list of things that I wanted to discuss with other people. How could they impart their knowledge on me to help me to grow? To help my audience grow? I wanted to talk to everyone about everything that I cared about from Cultural Appropriation to Entrepreneurship. But one of the most pending questions I had, is when it came to one of the most important relationships in life…MARRIAGE.

I want to get married. I’ve wanted to since I could remember. My friend Nikki and I planned our weddings in a binder when we were 12. I love the idea of partnership and growth. Traveling, buying a home, raising kids, and growing old. I love the idea of having someone to always come home to, talk to, and share a bed with so I don’t have to be afraid of the dark anymore. But these are all idealistic characteristics of marriage and while it’s nice to dream about, the reality is, 50% of marriages end in divorce. Therefore, I needed to know the gritty truth about marriage as well. The reality of marriage. What does it take to make it work? What qualities do I need to possess? What’s the hardest sacrifice you would have to make as a spouse? I knew just who to call to answer some of these questions.

Chris and Bri are twenty-somethings who got married right after college. They were young but they made it work and are in it for the long run (aka FOREVER).  It was important that I talked to them because God is at the center of their relationship. I can arguably say that Christian courting is harder than regular dating. I say this because of the standards christians have to uphold themselves to. The temptations that they have to fight off, IT’S HARD! But Chris and Bri overcame those challenges and their love story is inspiring. In spite of all of that, I knew they would also keep it real. They are super authentic and would be transparent about what it takes to make a marriage work.

Fun Facts:

  • This is one of the first podcasts I ever shot. You can actually tell, I was super nervous.
  • This podcast was shot twice. The first one was so good, I almost cried while interviewing them. Then while I was editing, it deleted into oblivion and I had to make that embarrassing call to Chris and Bri, like “Heyyyyyyyyyyyy, now what had happened was….”
  • The second podcast that we shot (you’re listening to Take Two) was just as amazing as the first – thanks guys.
  • When we shot again, Chris was sick. Sorry Chris!
  • Chris & Bri are the most gracious couple. They are super supportive of me and I appreciate their light, their story, their authenticity. They are unapologetically themselves and I love them for that.
  • This podcast is like SOUL FOOD. I learned so much about myself while listening to these two. I learned that there’s a lot of stuff I need to work on as I prepare for my life-long partner in crime.

Although this is the season finale, I’ll be back with more episodes. What an experience podcasting has been. I love interviewing people. I love hearing people’s stories and trajectories. I love learning about what people had to go through to get to where they are today. It’s been an eye-opening experience and it has taught me so much about myself and what I am capable of.

Chris on Social

Twitter: @ChrisB06

Instagram: @dibaddestchaplain

Youtube Channel: ChrisB

Website: https://www.soundboothradio1.com/

Bri on Social

Website: https://crownfruit.wordpress.com/

Instagram: @brburton08

Ky on Social

Website: Lifestylebyky.com

Instagram: @lifestylebyky

Twitter: @bykyblogs

#PODBYKY EPI 16 MILLENNIAL MOGULS W/AMOI

IMG_1263

Amoi, (how cool is her name?) is the creator of ” Making of A Millennial Mogul”which is an online show where millennial entrepreneurs and moguls in the making share their journeys giving viewers an inside look into what it takes to achieve success. Amoi and I met at a Blavity conference and the bond was formed since. Both of us are pisces (born just days apart),Christians (we love the lord), and we often refer to ourselves as the future Ava + Oprah, speaking success into existence.

During this podcast we discussed millennials, the importance of sharing your whole success story (bad times included) and what our dream jobs would look like.

When we think of successful people, we often get the cookie cutter version of their story. We don’t get the “grind” narrative but the overnight-success one. I felt that it was important to interview Amoi because I am over those stories, and I believe she is doing something monumental to change that. She’s talking to millennials while they are on their journey, shooting interviews that are candid and transparent, so the path to attaining success that we often see is not misleading but real. One of her first interviews for her show was with Damali Elliot , Founder of Petals -N-Belles, which you can watch here. Since then, (we shot this podcast in Sept 2016), she has shot a few more interviews that are absolutely captivating.

As always I asked her if she’s living in purpose and what she wants to be remembered for. At first,while editing this recently, I thought, why would I ask such a heavy question? But putting our lives into perspective is something we all should do. Focusing on the present is monumental, but if you don’t have an idea of what you’re working towards, and the type of success you seek, then how will you remain consistent?

16996449_1393168840758434_2410515045503712306_n.jpg

Follow Amoi:

Website: http://www.millimogul.com/

FB: https://www.facebook.com/MilliMogul/

IG @Millimogul

Twitter @Amoi_MilliMogul

Follow Lifestylebyky podcast on Itunes Lifestylebyky and Soundcloud 

#Podbyky Epi 15 Stilettos & Screwdrivers w/Toni Robinson

IMG_0959

This podcast, which is intentionally being dropped on International Women’s Day celebrates Women In Technology. I sit down with “Wonder Woman” Toni Robinson Founder and CEO of Stilettos & Screwdrivers and author of “She Conquered” and discuss her trajectory to the successful mobile electronic repair business she has, as well as dissect some excerpts from her book “She Conquered”that she authored with an array of other successful entrepreneurs.

Some would say Toni has it all – she’s a mom, wife, entrepreneur, CEO, author, and speaker, but she remains humble when it comes to all of these things. What I enjoyed most about speaking to Toni was understanding how she balances everything and also the sacrifices she had to make as a working mom, which in her case led to her starting her own business and rejecting the 9-5. Toni’s intention was to show her two daughters and other young girls and women that they not only have the capability to be in tech but excel in tech and not feel like they have to compromise their femininity.

Toni has an amazing book out called “She Conquered” which you can learn more about and purchase by clicking the below image:
I couldn’t start the conversation without asking her if she saw the movie “Hidden Figures” and I couldn’t end the conversation without asking her if she’s living in purpose.

If you’re an Entrepreneur, Business Owner, Interested in STEM or just want some good ol’ inspiration, then this podcast is for you!

FullSizeRender (10)

Follow Toni and all of her endeavors:

Web: http://www.stilettos-n-screwdrivers.com/

FB: https://www.facebook.com/hottechssns/

Insta: @stilettos_n_screwdrivers

Follow Lifestylebyky podcast on Itunes Lifestylebyky and Soundcloud 

#Podbyky Epi 14 The 3 P’s (Patience, Process, Purpose)

img_0905

Patience-Process-Purpose, are the three lessons I learned in the last couple of years navigating my life but more specifically, my career. I was discouraged for some time but at the right time, God came through and answered my prayers for the direction I wanted to go in my life.

Patience: Sometimes we need to humble ourselves in times of frustration. We need to take a deep breath and realize that although we are in a situation we don’t want to be in, it’s only temporary. So be patient, let God work in your life until your blessing is harvested.

Process: You learn the most on your journey to success during the process. You have to enjoy the moment, it makes you resilent. Learn as much as you can during this time and put your trust in God that you’re going to be fine in the end. Spend this time learning your passions. The process promotes growth.

Purpose: Isn’t this the goal? Sometimes we have to go through everything we do before God reveals to us what our purpose is. Keep believing.

Follow my podcast on Itunes Lifestylebyky and Soundcloud 

Inspired by Memoirs

The word memoir, used to sound like the most boring thing ever when I was younger. I stayed away from those types of stories. But within the last year I’ve read more of them and it has grown into one of my favorite type of narratives. I think there’s something so inspirational about reading someone’s story (dead or alive) and learning how they navigated life. Life is full of ups and downs and we don’t have an instruction manual for it. Sometimes we all get confused about our place in it or if we will ever achieve our goals, but when you read how others navigated their lives and see that their situations were no different from yours it gives you a sense of hope and sometimes may even inspire you to take risks and go after dreams. I am one of those people who google the age of celebrities that I admire to compare where they were at my age. I know this is an odd thing to do, but I do it, to make sure I am on the right track. Most times I realize that I am, but there’s always that extraordinary person who’s killing it in their teens or twenties. For me, some of the key elements of really good memoirs are:

  1. Transparency: I love memoirs where the author is transparent about their life and their mistakes. No one wants to read a memoir that they can’t relate to.
  1. Started from the bottom: I love memoirs that take you on the journey of life staring from the beginning. Society and social media tend to show you what success looks like without showing what it took to get there. I like when authors take you on the journey from the bottom up and not just the “up”.
  1. Evolution or Growth: As humans we are constantly evolving and growing. I love memoirs that shows a person’s growth. If you are the same way at the beginning of the story that you were at the end, something is wrong. Life should always push you to be better, greater, stronger. We are constantly learning and evolving and I love memoirs that illustrate that.

Some of the memoirs that I read recently have all three of these characteristics:

Autobiography of Malcom X by Malcom X

Assata An Autobiography by Assata Shakur 

Redefining Realness by Janet Mock 

The Education of Kevin Powell by Kevin Powell

My Voice by Angie Martinez 

A memoir that I am looking forward to reading this year is: Foxy: My Life in Three Acts by Pam Grier. I absolutely love her and I know she has a powerful life story.

What are your favorite memoirs?

#BlackTwitter17 Conference

I don’t know what I expected from the Black Twitter 2017 Conference, but since it was being put on by the National Association for Black Journalist (NABJ) I knew  it would be a great event. The event was held at the CUNY Graduate School of Journalism. I love this school, it’s very high-tech and modern. There were 6-Panels for the day. So to avoid this being a long post, I am going to share one key take away from each:

Panel: This Year in Black Social Media with Dr. Sherri Williams(Wake Forest University) and Dr. Meredith Clark (University of North Texas) via Skype

Advice for balancing social media and your career: Think about it like an ongoing audition. Don’t put anything out there that you cannot stand by.

img_0730

Panel: Black Media Post-Election. How will black media and black journalists operate during the Trump Presidency? with Wesley Lowery (Washington Post), Cherri Gregg (KYW Newsradio Philadelphia, Jamiles Lartey (The Guardian), Errol Louis (CUNY J)

“People’s online reading behaviors is intregral to the editorial process for better or for worst.”-Jamiles Lartey

img_0740

 

Chat and Chew with Blavity + Buzzfeed

This chat was really cute. Sylvia Obell  interviewed Brandon Harden about the things happening over at blavity. I thought the both of them would interview each other, but it was more one-sided. However this was a highlight of the event for me. What Buzzfeed and Blavity is doing right is they are not afraid to take risks and they are setting a new standard in the industry and among millennials. They are putting out videos about how many strings will it take to break a watermelon or 17-aunties that everyone has and this content is real, raw, and authentic. We can all learn from the innovation and creativity of these platforms.

img_0761

Panel:Social Media Activism with Tyler Tines (SB Nation), Steve Pargett (The Dream Defenders), Aaron Morrison (Mic.com) and Misha Cornelius (The Advancement Project)

“You never want to be in a situation where a story is covered by a white colleague and they don’t get it right and you were sitting right there but didn’t speak up.” -Aaron Morrison

This comment stuck out to me because it’s not shade to white people, but we can’t expect them to completely understand our culture and our perspectives because they are not black, which is why diversity is extremely important in the work place.

img_0770

Panel: Top Tools & Branding for Social Media with Jozen Cummings (Bleacher Report), Rhonda Elnaggar (Buzzfeed) and Benet Wilson (Aviation Queen)

You need to keep yourself and your relationship with social media healthy – which means when something is too much for you to see or watch on social media, turn it off ie. Alton Sterling shooting. Self-care in the age of social media is so important.

img_0784

What’s Next in Social Media? with Sarah Glover (NABJ President) Manny Fantis (Sinclair Broadcasting), Teghan Collins (Sinclair Broadcasting)

Use Facebook as a tool, not just a publishing platform, get folks over to your brand.

img_0788

February Reads

I’m Judging You: The Do-Better Manual  by Luvvie Ajayi -Review coming soon.

My Voice – Angie Martinez – Review coming soon

Nice Girls Don’t Get the Corner Office by Lois P Frankel – Review coming soon

The Power Play Book by Lala Anthony – Review coming soon

We: A Manifesto for Women Everywhere by Gillian Anderson and Jennifer Nadel – Review coming soon

#Podbyky Epi 13 Hurtbae has my heart

img_0597-1

#Hurtbae has my Heart, is me ranting about this internet sensation that has everyone talking. Who hasn’t been here before? I discuss: Why women are not disposable, the whole chasing theory, men having a 6th sense, and why closure in a relationship is important (to me), even if I don’t always get that.

By Ky Books: The Mothers by Brit Bennett

IMG_0392.JPG

The Mothers: A Novel

Religion. Suicide. Abortion. Sexual Abuse. Failed First Love. Grief. Depression. This book does not hold back on the issues it addresses. But although those topics seem heavy, the author Brit Bennett, does such an excellent job with her writing and character building that you don’t feel weighed down by the story once its over. It feels real. At the core of this story is an abortion that beautiful Nadia Turner, the main character feels like she must have. She doesn’t confide in anyone including her boyfriend, she’s just hell bent on getting one. This book tackles the choice women make when they either have an abortion and pursue the rest of their lives and their dreams or not to have one and birth life. The idea is that both choices comes with costs and for Nadia, having a child would mean halting her dreams of going to college and becoming successful to stay at home, where being home meant dealing with grief and depression that her heart could no longer take.

I would identify this as a coming of age story that is representative of reality not those coming of age stories where characters jump in lakes and try to soak in the last real summer before adulthood, this story is hits home for several reasons and really illustrates the reality of young adulthood for some people. It tackles real life issues while intertwining religion and often time the hypocrisy of it. I don’t want to give too much away, but I liked this book, I didn’t like the ending that much but I enjoyed reading it overall and loved how the author developed such powerful relationships that may or may not withstand the test of time.

If you’re into podcasts, For Colored Nerds on itunes has an amazing interview with the author Britt Bennet who gives further perspective into the narrative of this story.

Simple Relationship Advice

You’re Worthy.

As a girl-friend (not girlfriend), the week of Valentines Day is always rough. Valentines Day is a troublemaker when you’re in a relationship or in a situationship because men either don’t pick up on the clues or don’t acknowledge you or the day at all and either situation is problematic to a woman. As much as we say we don’t like Valentines Day (I am not included in this narrative), some women still want to be acknowledged and appreciated. Some women want to know that they are worthy. Some women want to know they are not giving their all without something in return. I think the general consensus is being acknowledged on valentines day doesn’t have to equate a big elaborate gift. It can be as simple as a rose, a poem, a box of candy, or a thoughtful card. Yet, this goes over a lot of guy’s head and they might send a text (and that’s it) or act like the day never happened and call you the next day like “What’s up?” :/

So, as you can imagine there were a lot of fires that I needed to put out that weekend following the big V. It’s important that my friends, other women, and even myself know that we are worthy. What does being worthy mean? It means that as an individual you are an amazing person that deserves everything your heart desires. You deserve the recognition and the acknowledgement that you want and if you’re not getting it then you have to make some adjustments in your life.

Valentines day also helps to put a lot of relationships into perspective. Needless to say I received a lot of calls from fed up friends who were ready to just let it all go and move on from a relationship. My only advice there is Make sure you clean out your closet before jumping into another relationship.

What that means is check yourself. Sometimes we have the tendency to jump in relationships and make the same mistakes with the next guy because there’s something within us, maybe insecurity or a soul tie, maybe we haven’t dealt with past hurts or rejection that we don’t want to resonate. Cleaning house means taking the time after a relationship ends to work on you and build a stronger relationship with God. It means directing your focus away from someone else and giving it all to yourself and what makes you happy; building yourself up so you can be a better person and girlfriend or wife (since that’s the goal for most women) the next time around.