If Issa Was My Friend… Insecure Season 2 Episode 1

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Photo Cred: The Atlantic

The season 2 premiere of Insecure was like soul food. Issa’s character awkwardly over thinks herself into crazy situations, setting her expectations high and leaving her disappointed; similar to what I do on a daily basis, especially when it comes to my love life. As the twists and turns of the episode unfolded, I found myself shaking my head and screaming at the screen “No girl.” Not from a place of judgment but from a place of understanding. Been there and done all of that.

Thus, If Issa was my friend, was born. My Iyanla senses want me to get to the root of Issa and Molly’s decisions this episode. I want to be apart of their friend circle anyway, so this is technically, me, bringing the idea of having Issa as my best friend in my head to life. See how that works?

If Issa was my friend, I would’ve told her, “No! Don’t sleep with Lawrence. They always come back but that doesn’t mean you should give up the goodies as soon as they do. He’s just not ready.”

Breakups are rough, especially when the woman is the one who cheated and is at fault for it. Some guys in these situations, develop these self-righteous attitudes like they are so much better than the cheating woman. They act as if they are so disgusted by the presence of this woman. Even if the guy wasn’t so innocent in the relationship himself, something happens to his ego when a woman cheats; his ego is crushed and he pretty much changes.

This is what we are seeing happening to Lawrence. Lawrence loved Issa but now that Issa betrayed his trust, he’s unforgiving. My only issue with this is societal double standards that are in favor of men when they cheat but not when women do. When a man cheats, the woman is supposed to forgive and get over it. Which in most cases we usually do. Society tells us to accept the reality of a cheating man because “MEN CHEAT.” Whether that is true or not, we have desensitized cheating for men, but have not done the same for women. When a woman cheats, the consequences are grim. The men in these situations are not as forgiving and they are conditioned to walk away from the situation without any chance of reconciliation. Lawrence’s first instinct wasn’t to forgive Issa, it was to hurt her as much as she hurt him. It was to sleep with other women. Not once was it to hear Issa’s pleas of forgiveness. I am not condoning cheating for men or women, but I think the standards for each gender should be equal.

Issa created an awesome plan to show Lawrence that she’s living her best life by throwing a Wine Down party. She thought he was coming over but he, in turn, sends that disappointing text that he wasn’t going to make it. The feeling of defeat on her face was a little sad. Getting disappointed by an ex that you love and so desperately want to make amends with is always rough. But he eventually came around.

What we saw happen on that couch was not an act of love. That was a quickie. Let’s not get it twisted. Issa opened a door for a friends with benefits situation. Lawrence and Issa are not back together, just yet. Lawrence is not looking at her in a loving way, although he still has love for her. She’s a sexual object now, a release for his pent up anger and that kiss on the cheek at the end was a slap in the face. I know we’re supposed to believe that he’s coming back. I know that cringe-worthy smirk on Issa’s face at the end of the episode means that even she thinks he’s coming back, but he’s not. Not yet. He’s hurt, his ego is bruised, and he still has to unpack some of those feelings. Sometimes men jump prematurely into situations with other women to deal with their hurt. Lawrence is now with Tasha who seems to uplift him, despite her messing with the chances of him and Issa getting back together. Issa, however, is going to have to figure out how to live life without Lawrence in the meantime and iron out all of her issues so when Lawrence does finally come back, which he will, she’s ready for the relationship that they both deserve. If she still even wants that.

UndergroundWGN is #Winning

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It is a peculiar sensation, this double-consciousness, this sense of always looking at one’s self through the eyes of others…one ever feels his twoness-an American, a Negro; two souls, two thoughts, two unreconciled strivings, two warrings ideals in one dark body… ” – W.E.B Dubois

UndergroundWGN is Emmy worthy and I can’t wait to see how successful it becomes. Underground follows Noah, a slave on a plantation, who seeks freedom through the Underground Railroad. He realizes, that his goal may only be possible if he assembles a group of his fellow slaves to accompany him. Of course, the show gets way more complicated than that, but that’s the general concept.

Double Consciousness

Double consciousness or shifting among the characters is extremely prevalent, which is one of the reasons I watch the show religiously. I am intrigued by the writers use of this idea coined by W.E.B Dubois way back in 1903 in his book The Soul of Black Folks. Double Consciousness, is basically in layman terms the two faces black people put on in America. We have to be black and we have to be American. We have to act one way among white people and another way when we are comfortable enough being our true selves. Essentially we have to shift to survive.

Spoiler Alert

Each of the characters in this show shift or have two faces. You think you know who they really are at their core, but each week, something new is exposed and another layer is added to them. Right now, we know that Noah played by Aldis Hodge has a limp because he doesn’t want the plantation owners to know that he is a threat to them. We know that Rosalee played by Jurnee Smollett-Bell is a contented house slave, who is ready to run away by any means. We also know that August Pullman played by Christopher Meloni is a white slave catcher who pretends to be for black people but will turn them in for a cash reward instantly. There’s a lot of shifting going on as a means of survival and I am here for it all.

Why you should watch

If I can compare this show to anything else, I would say it’s like Scandal, set during slavery. The writers are superb. They keep me engaged and wanting more and although this is sensitive material, they find a balance and create some highs and lows in the episodes so you’re not emotionally drained by the conclusion. Sometimes I find myself so drawn into the storylines, I have dreams about it later on.

I know why people might want to avoid a show like this; who wants to be constantly reminded about slavery every week? I thought the same thing initially, but these characters are intriguing, even though the actual system of slavery dehumanizes them. They have feelings, and dreams just like anyone else, which is the underlying theme. Also, we have to support these shows so it can open doors for more shows to educate and acknowledge our rich stories.  I am hooked and you should be too.Underground comes on every Wednesday at 10PM (EST) on WGN which is on Channel 82 if you have Cablevision. WGN is a relatively new network so don’t be surprised if you’ve never heard of it before. Since the show has so many twists and turns every Wednesday the cast does a twitter chat #UndergroundWGN which is awesome because you need someone to watch this show with just so you can say “Did you see that?”

Black-ish Confronts Police Brutality

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I am not an avid fan of Black-ish on ABC, although after the episode that just premiered I will be. Black Lives Matter and Police Brutality have been the top stories on the news lately. Trayvon Martin, Michael Brown, Sean Bell, Tamir Rice, Eric Garner, Sandra Bland, Freddie Gray and the list goes on, were all killed at the hands of police officers throughout the United States. When will it end? Why are innocent lives being taken by the very authority figures that are supposed to protect those lives? What adds more fuel to the fire is that these officers are taking lives without any repercussions. Nothing is happening to them. They are completely protected under the law. It feels like we are living in the 1950’s Jim Crow South where you can take the life of a black man or woman and walk away free of criminal punishment. Like I said my biggest problem with these cases is that these officers are facing no sort of punishment. No burn. Not a suspension, not a mandate for community service, not 2-weeks in jail, not 2-years in jail, notice I am trying to list the minimum amount of punishment to be received and they receive nothing. They are completely allowed to move on with their lives while the families of these dead victims suffer. Black lives truly matter and the murdering of our bodies has got to end.

I say this all to say that I am a personal believer in people using their platforms to address these issues. I am proud of Black-ish for using its platform to illustrate the reality of how black families react every time the justice system that is supposed to protect us, fails us. This episode was so multifaceted and the writers used each of the characters to share a different perspective on this issue of police brutality. Bow and Dre struggle with how to explain to their two young children what the state of America is, without taking away their innocence. Bow wants to protect them from the reality of being black in America, while Dre wants to expose this reality to them so they have no surprises later on. Hence, the dispute of the episode is unleashed. What comes out of this episode, is great conversation and dialogue, discussions about Ta-Neshi Coates book which is taking the world by storm, and real-life, tear-jerking reactions to how devastating it is, every time a police officer walks away scotfree after killing a black person. The best part about the episode was that the writers were able to mix humor with real-life stuff which made it one of the best television experiences I’ve had in a long time.

Without giving too much away, I encourage you guys to watch the episode. I found it on Hulu.

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Movie Monday: “The Butler”

z6-shoji-butler-interview-a-20140214.jpgThese are our stories. OUR stories. The Butler is based on a true story of the life of Eugene Allen who was a butler for over 30-years in the White House. This movie resonated with me from the opening scene. The scene is deep although not based on Eugene Allen’s real life. A young Cecil Gaines, his mother (played by Mariah Carey), and his father (played by David Banner), are taking a picture on the cotton fields of the deep south when suddenly his mother is raped by an overseer. Cecil encourages his father to speak up on his mother’s behalf. His father tries to address the rape but is shot dead on the spot by the crazed overseer in front of his young son. This scene illustrates so many things but what rings out to me most is the dehumanization of black lives and the execution and devaluation of black bodies. Our lives meant nothing back then and it hurt watching because sometimes it seems to mean nothing now.

Ultimately Cecil’s mother goes crazy and Cecil is taken in by the Madame to be a house boy/ house slave, which sets the tone for his career. Cecil works hard and eventually lands a job in the White House as a butler, which he takes very seriously. Simultaneously he juggles being a husband and a father to his two young sons. One of his sons being a revolutionary who is deeply apart of the struggle for Civil Rights, a far cry from  Cecil’s temperament.

This movie tugged on my heartstrings for many reasons. For one, it does a great job with representing the times and the tones of the day, from Emmett Till’s death to the Civil Rights Movement, to the Black Panthers Movement, to the Apartheid struggle in South Africa, and it does it so well. Secondly, one of the most defining moments for me in the movie was Cecil finally coming to consciousness. He realized that after years of playing the “contented negro” he deserved more for his life and he needed to fight for it. This movie resonated with me in my own life. Never be afraid to demand what you want and never settle for a situation when you know you deserve more. Always strive to be your very best self but also remain humble. Cecil was a humble and hard-working man and I admire his work ethic and his contribution. He broke barriers and paved the way for us which is a powerful thing.

This movie is currently playing on Netflix which is where I watched it.

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Confronting My History

This is what happened when I decided to confront my history in one day.

January 18, 2016

On Martin Luther King Jr. Day of Service, I had the day off and decided to watch all of the black historical films that I’ve been avoiding since the year 2012.

First, let me explain my avoidance. These films as a black person are just hard to watch. They are completely necessary to watch but hard nonetheless. I take on the emotional burdens of these historical films depicting Slavery or the Civil Rights Movement. My mind does not allow me to separate between this being a movie, made by Hollywood, from the fact that this Hollywood made movie is a depiction of actual events and occurrences that took place in the past, and so I watch these films as if these movies are real and I am emotionally burdened by it all.

In spite of this, I just decided I wanted to be radical and not just watch one of these movies but all of them in one sitting. I wanted to watch D’Jango Unchained, 12-Years A Slave, The Butler, and Selma (if I had time, I would’ve thrown in the Malcom X movie). I dived headfirst. I started with Selma because it was MLK Day. Selma had a few rough scenes that shook me to my core and made me cry. The police ruthless beatings with the batons, the violence, the hatred, the disrespect, it messed with me but I kept going.

Next up, I tried to find 12-Years A Slave. I couldn’t find it on Hulu or Netflix. My friends later told me, God spared my mind because that movie is a hard one. One day I will come back to it.

Then I watched D’Jango which was interesting. I liked it. It showed a black man empowered during slavery even though he was a murderer…hmm. What I hated most about this movie was the dog scene where a runaway slave was torn apart by dogs. This was a practice of slave masters during slavery, it just hurt so bad to watch.

The Butler, was next on my list. I was surprised by how great this movie was. It’s really powerful. The opening scene is a tearjerker. The rape and murder of Cecil Gaines parents illustrate how dehumanized black lives were during this time. Cecil Gaines worked hard and made his way into the White House, but he resented his eldest son who was a part of the struggle. His son was a part of the civil rights movement, the freedom rides, the Black Panther movement, and the anti-apartheid struggle in South Africa. These historical references added so much substance to the movie and illustrated just how challenging the times were. Certain parts of this movie hurt to watch. Cecil constantly fought to get paid equally as the other white butlers but was shut down and told he could quit. His work as a domestic although underestimated and looked upon as uncle tom’ ish made a huge contribution to the plight of our race and I thank him for his work and the work of many black domestics of our times just trying to make a living for their families.

January 19, 2016

By the time I watched all three of these movies I was emotionally beat. I tried to go to sleep but I couldn’t. Continue reading “Confronting My History”

Movie Monday: “Selma”

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Ava DuVernay! You did great work with this movie. The first ten minutes captivated me. You see a well-dressed Martin uncomfortably receiving a Nobel Peace Prize award, but what comes next sets the tone for the whole movie. We are not sugar-coating anything with this film are we?

It’s clear this movie is addressing the reality of black lives in the 1960s, south. Four little girls walking down their church steps, talking about things that girls would most likely be talking about and then the bomb goes off, and their pretty little shoes, their hair bows, their dresses, blown away like a vapor. Their lives were taken from them because of the brutal hatred for their black skin. This scene is followed by another very powerful scene with Oprah Winfrey attempting to gain her right to vote. We see how demeaning those voter registration tests were and it brought on the first of many tears in my eyes.

Watching this movie, I had a cathartic cry. It was one of the most emotional tears I’ve ever shed, filled with pain and peace at the same time; I can’t describe it. My tears were brought on by a scene where a black man trying to protect his mother and grandfather was killed by police while protesting. I had to turn the movie off and just cry. This stuff really happened back then and it’s happening today, but why? Why are these senseless acts of violence so prevalent? Why is human life devalued so? Selma had an effect on me, and if you haven’t watched it as yet I encourage you to. Nothing that Martin Luther King did was in vain. He sacrificed his life so we could have the freedoms and liberties that we too often take advantage of.

Right now the movie is on Hulu, which is where I was able to watch it.

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Movie Monday: Why everyone should see “Dear White People”

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Sam White is a bi-racial student activist who has a radio show called Dear White People. She’s working hard to implement change at Winchester University (a predeominately white institution (PWI)), starting with her appointment to Head of the all-black dorms Armstrong/Parker. A huge racial divide is brewing between the whites and the blacks at the school.

The movie simultaneously follows the lives of three other black students attending the university, including Coco, who comes off as an Uncle Tom, Troy Fairbanks who is the son of the school’s dean, and Lionel Higgins, who is the nerd, stereotyped and bullied mostly because of his sexuality. Sam and Lionel along with a group of other racially diverse students ultimately work together to ignite the biggest race war in their school’s history as a result of a racist Halloween party thrown by a popular student magazine.

This movie hit home for me in more ways than one. If you went to a PWI, then you know what it means to be an “other.” I spent the majority of my college career, but specifically my last two years feeling like an outsider. I just didn’t feel like I was in an environment that understood me. When I saw this movie, I felt like I wasn’t alone. Someone had to feel the same way to create such a real and culturally poignant movie for my generation. I say my generation; because this movie deals with the individual and institutional racism we encounter at the most prominent universities in America today. It also channels a modern-day Spike Lee Joint. This movie isn’t an attack on White people but illustrates the experience of what it means to be black in America or in a smaller scope what it means to be black in a university where the majority is non-black.

I encourage you to watch for yourself. I found the movie on Hulu

 

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Movie Monday: What Happened, Miss Simone?

I enjoyed learning about the life and times of Nina Simone, one of the most influential singers…ever. At the height of Simone’s career, she began to take part in the civil rights movement, which some say jeopardized her because she became too radical.

What I loved about this documentary is that it humanizes Simone and shows her vulnerabilities and her demons. Unlike many other entertainers, she couldn’t sit back idly and do nothing. She was very involved in the struggle of liberating blacks in America from the chains of racism and oppression.

If you have Netflix, watch What Happened, Miss Simone?

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Talks at the Schomburg: Portrayals of Black Women in Media

IMG_0007The Schomburg hosted a Women in Media chat a few nights ago and I decided to attend. I believe this is an extremely important conversation, especially for someone like me who wants to break into the field. The panelist consisted of one of my favorites, Demetria Lucas of Belle in Brooklyn blog and book; she’s also on Bravo’s Blood Sweat and Heels; Vanessa K. DeLuca Editor-in-chief of Essence Magazine, Farai Chideya journalist and host of One with Farai and moderating, journalist Akisa Omulepu. So many interesting topics were brought up and I would love to share some of their discussion points as well as my takeaways.

Misogyny: Do men hate women? After watching shows like Love and Hip Hop you begin to ponder this. Sometimes it makes my heart jump when I hear a man use the B-word to address a woman, attack a woman, or even as a term of endearment. These shows allow women to be disrespected like such, all the time. Being called a B**** is degrading. Historically, especially in the hip hop culture, women are not viewed as queens, we are viewed as a man’s B****, their subordinate, or a sexual object. Women like Joseline Hernandez, allow her partner, Stevie J to degrade her because of her past as a stripper or Mimi who allowed her boyfriend to exploit her by releasing their sex tape when she has a little daughter at home, are just some of the examples of misogyny illustrated on mainstream television, and it’s detrimental to our image as a whole.

Modern Mom: Sitcoms are a prime example where you see black women in modern mom roles. Most famous Claire Huxtable, yet most recently Rainbow Johnson played by Tracee Ellis Ross on the ABC hit show Blackish. She’s an eccentric and corky doctor, and I can almost see her being that type of mom in real life. But is that the only story we have to tell? Is the modern African American mom, a pretty and a professional doctor or lawyer, with 4-5 children? Continue reading “Talks at the Schomburg: Portrayals of Black Women in Media”

Why Black Girls Rock Is Necessary!

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“When Black Girls Rock, stuff happens…”

Young girls, especially young black girls need to be empowered, plain and simple. I grew up during a time where I looked up to video vixens as the woman I wanted to become. There were very little positive female influences that looked like me in the media and on TV. Every day, I would turn to BET and watch these beautiful and exotic women in music videos, with assets you could envy, collecting cash from rappers and shaking their butts in the camera. I thought they represented the ideal; the type of women guys wanted. The type of women who could get anything they wanted, just by being beautiful. I believe this type of representation had a huge effect on me and my perception of black womanhood. My behavior as soon as I was able to enter a club was evidence of this. I had a skewed sense of what it took to get the attention of a man. I had a skewed sense of what it took to keep a man. I had a skewed sense of feeling like I was never enough or never doing enough. I had a skewed sense of what it meant to be a woman of integrity.

Black women are plagued with HIV/AIDS, STDS, drugs, eating disorders, teen pregnancy, domestic violence, prostitution, stripping, sexual abuse, poor choices in men, self-esteem issues among other things. Sometimes we fall victim to these things because we are not shown an alternate route. We are fed misconceptions about womanhood and end up with diminished self-esteem and a series of poor choices. I am so proud that there is an award show that highlights the brave women who have made a difference in the world. Our girls need to be uplifted, our girls need an education, our girls need a chance and Black Girls Rock sees that we need to take action now. Continue reading “Why Black Girls Rock Is Necessary!”