I will be the first to admit…I don’t understand men. I think I can figure them out, but what’s the point in guessing when I can go directly to the source and get some of my most pending questions answered.
So that’s exactly what I did. On today’s podcast, I am joined by Makesi who answers questions ranging from “Do men suffer from heartbreak” to “Do men want to be approached by woman” Hope you enjoy!
Were you offended by his question? My friend asked me this one Friday evening while we were catching up. Just to give you some backstory, a few weeks prior, I went out with a group of my friends to a cool spot in Bedstuy called Lover’s Rock, which gives off all types of Love Jones vibes.
We didn’t see each other for a while so we sat around our table and caught up. The friend that was doing all of the questioning, asked me “So what are you doing, career wise? What are your next steps…?” That’s when the conversation got awkward. If you know anything about me, I am not one to talk about everything that I am doing. I’m also not one to count my chickens before they hatch. So was it so bad when I said “Sorry I can’t share with you…”
This response piqued his interest further because he continued to pry. I held on tightly to my original sentiments…”No!”
Maybe it came off weird to everyone at the table. Maybe you’re also thinking what’s the big deal? But sometimes when you are dealing with something as huge and significant as your destiny and what you’re going to do with the rest of your life it has to remain between you and God until the time is right. I could’ve created an elaborate story of dreams and goals and everything my “inner” heart desired for conversation sake, but what good would that do? I’m in a season of transition, so it’s vital for me to be still and wait on God. Therefore, until the changes God has for me are revealed, I can’t be rambling to every and anyone about my plans because some people, even the ones that are closest to you may not understand and quite frankly, it’s not meant for them to. As Sarah Jakes said “Your destiny is not a democracy.”
I say this all to say, protect your destiny. Everyone doesn’t have the right to know what’s between you and God because it’s between you and God. Your destiny is not up for conversation or discussion. Be still and let God direct your life because he will reveal the perfect time for you to shine and give you peace in your heart for the people you should actually reveal these revelations to.
I’m not big on reviewing hair products unless I swear by them and this is a product that is gradually becoming a personal favorite. There are three things that I love about this product:
1.) The Consistency – it’s thick and creamy which is perfect for my hair. My hair twists better with a thick consistency. However it’s not too thick, so it doesn’t weigh my hair down.
2.) The Smell – The smell is of blueberries. So yummy.
3.) The Finished Results – I love how my bantu knots come out with this product. You don’t have to use a lot either. I like my twist-outs as well. It’s a great alternative to my favorite product which is Miss Jessies Curly Butter Cream which is almost triple the price.
Bonus: Speaking of price, it’s about $11.99 at Target for a decent sized jar.
Overall, I like this product and if you’re looking for something new to try on your natural hair give this one a try.
On today’s podcast I talk to Kayla Brooks about The Golden Age of TV and in our lives. Kayla is a friend of mine from my TV Writing class. She’s one of those people that you know will be a future Show Runner in a few years, kind of like a next generation Shonda Rhimes. At the onset of my most recent quarter life crisis, I explained to her how I was feeling and she totally got it. We start the podcast by addressing the ups and downs of life in our twenties. We move on to talk about how amazing it was to watch our stories in the 90s on television and try to solve the mystery of why our stories have sort of been erased from Hollywood (except the ones that address slavery). The key is to be the change you want to see in the world which is what Kayla and I plan to do.
Follow Kayla Brooks
I walked home from church one Saturday afternoon, after spending the whole morning writing scripts for our Sunday school’s upcoming lessons. I passed through Park Slope and debated if I should go to my favorite Chinese restaurant, Mr. Wonton. My stomach cravings got the best of me. I walked in and noticed a young, black woman, sitting in the corner, eating General Tso’s Chicken. She was alone. I was empowered by how carefree she was. I’ve eaten by myself before, but seeing her there, at that moment, reminded me how long it’s been since I’ve been a solo diner. I asked for a seat in back of her, not to be a lurker but her area offered the best seating in the restaurant. I ordered shrimp fried rice, and a shrimp roll. They brought over noodle chips with a bowl of duck sauce. I giddily enjoyed a delicious meal, and my fortune told me “If you can shape it in your mind, you will find it in your life…”
That simple moment, led me to think about how content I was. I am single. I’ve been single for quite some time now, however it was the first time in my life where I didn’t feel shame about my singleness or even, complain about it. I love myself. I really do, and it took such a long time to get here but I am here. I don’t want to settle in a relationship. I don’t want to attract men, with empty promises and their inability to remain faithful. I don’t want to compromise myself anymore. I don’t want to lose myself either. I don’t want to give and not get the same back in return. I don’t want to feel alone, even though I have the title of a girlfriend. I don’t want to be worried about where my man is or why he hasn’t called me all day. I don’t want to question if he will feel the same joy that I feel about my birthday or Valentine’s Day. I don’t want to push my man to make more ambitious strides with his life without the same support from him. I don’t want to teach a man how to be a man. I’ve grown tired of it all.
My table was set for two. I looked at the empty seat in front of me, but it didn’t taunt me. It represented the ghosts of the many men that came before, that just didn’t work out. It also represented the bright future ahead of me. I’ve given my love life to God. So while he does the work in me, I know there’s going to be many other times where I will be dating myself, and that’s okay. I am content in where I am right now because I know I am being prepared for a relationship that will last forever.
Sometimes I look at Bishop T.D Jakes and I am amazed. Here’s a man that started from nothing and by God’s grace has evolved into one of the most inspiring preachers the world has ever encountered. What I admired most about him on this particular day that I watched him, and to be honest envied a little, was that he was walking and living in his purpose, God’s purpose and that is one of the most significant gifts life has to offer.
A couple of days later, I was asked to come to the church for a meeting on my role as a Sunday School Volunteer. I was told that one of our leaders will be taking a leave and I would assist in running my group as the Service Producer. A service producer is basically running the show. It’s a leadership role and I am responsible for our Sunday’s running smoothly. A role of leadership at church is no easy feat. It comes with a cost and a lot of sacrifice. For one, you have to dedicate more time to your group and the lessons, ensuring that Sundays runs effortlessly for the children and parents. Secondly, you have a reputation to uphold as a Sunday School leader. Lastly, you have to lead others and be confident in your skills and leadership. It’s a lot of work, balancing writing lessons, directing lessons, producing skits, props, costumes, prayer, ice breakers, assigning roles, making sure the class rooms are clean, and that the children are having a great time and learning about God.
Little ol’ me was chosen out of everyone to do this job and I am so excited. I never claim to be the best Christian, sometimes I’m afraid of the title of Christian because I am far from the quintessential image of one. But God is amazing like that. If you read his word, he always chooses the least likely in the pack and exalts them. It’s interesting the heights he is taking me in ministry now that I am following his purpose. Although the work may be overwhelming, it’s so rewarding and encourages me in many other compartments in my life. I am always looking for the purpose God has for my life and I know that he is gradually revealing it to me.