dare to bloom – LifestyleByKy

May 18, 2024May 5, 2024

March Life Update Part 1

I kicked off the month of March in Connecticut and had a distraction of party planning. My party was on March 9th and while I was about 80% complete with planning I still had some loose ends to solve for including whether or not I would have a violinist and which photographer I was going to confirm. Sam drove Ginger and I back home but not before a stop to the Nike Clearance Store in Flushing Queens where he bought a bunch of sneakers and I left with this really cozy Nike Hoodie. Here’s a photo of Ginger surrounded by all of the sneaker chaos.

My birthday party was 3 days before my actual birthday. To prep I decided to go to Cityrenerose New York Luxury Salon for the first time for a hair cut/bob. My experience there was nothing short of fabulous. The decor is Black, Gold/Mustard Yellow and white. When you go in they greet you and give you a robe to wear throughout your experience. When I got my hair washed, I was able to get answers to some of my hair questions and my stylist just shared some dos and don’ts with me about my hair in order for me to keep it healthy. Kendra, my hair stylist was so kind. I have to admit, I knew I had some heat damage and was nervous about my hair being silk pressed because of it. I was also nervous that my hair would turn out horrible. All of my fears were thrown out the window, when we went with the bob cutting off damage and starting again on my hair growth journey. As the days went on my bob just got better and better.

The night before my birthday, I had a last minute outfit change thanks to my mom’s genius styling brain. She saved me from being a basic B at my own birthday party. The day of, I was feeling good and praying the weather would get better. The forecast showed rain, and boy did it rain, torrentially. The only thing I really had to do was get my make up done at Sephora. The girls who usually do my make up was not working so I had a new girl which is fine. The only problem is she took really long to do my make up and up-charged me because it took her long. I’ve never had this issue before but I wanted to maintain a stress free day so I just paid and left. My make up appointment which was only supposed to be an hour ran to two hours and ultimately made me late to my own birthday party (the audacity). I text everyone that they could be late. When I got, to the venue after rushing home to get dressed, the friends that were there helped me to set up. I love them. Also, my Bcake NY red velvet floral cake and inspired design turned out BEAUTIFUL.

The party itself was fabulous. The vibes were beautiful. The florist did an amazing job facilitating the workshop and choosing my favorite flowers. The venue owner stayed close by to ensure everything went smooth. The violinist set the mood with great vibes. The photographer took really beautiful and bold photos that captured the moment so vividly. For goodie bags I gave everyone the book that inspired my birthday party and my friend donated Affirmation Cards from her business to my gift bags which was the perfect tie in. I plan to do a deep dive video on the party planning itself but my birthday was a DREAM (my grandmother’s favorite term). It was so healing and beautiful being in community with my village and creating flower arrangements. Did it, cost me a pretty penny? ABSOLUTELY but it was an investment in my joy which to be honest is priceless.

Special Shout out to my black-owned and women owned vendors (and please support):
BCake NY @BCAKENY
Blncd THC Infused Drinks @BLNCDNATURALS
Damora Regala Photography @MOMENTSBYDAMORA
Devon Webster aka Maestro Kaiso Violinist @MAESTROKAISO
Myleka Caesar Bullock of Glorious Vines @GLORIOUSVINES
Shell’s Loft Venue @SHELLSLOFT
Sherleen Bruno of B.Luxe Blooms @B.LUXE_BLOOMS

May 4, 2024April 30, 2024

February 2024 Life Update Part 2

With valentines day consuming the first half of the month, Sam and I did a date night at Brooklyn Beso. I was also doing some location scouting since I spent most of the month planning my 35th Birthday party. Brooklyn Beso had delish (yet very strong drinks) and I had the most delish lobster and shrimp pasta. Sam had vegan tacos which was tasty and we of course went for happy hour which meant two for one drinks, but on a school night meant we left one of the drinks at the table because we are not about that life. The vibes were made complete with old school Drake playing in the background. I miss the old drake he was my favorite, but I don’t know what’s going on with him now.

For valentines day Sam sent me a bouquet of colorful roses, which was a complete surprise, it arrived early on February 13th and to be honest I’ve been working so much that I didn’t realize it was valentines day the next day (so sad).

I am turning 35 in March, woohoo, so I’ve had my head down planning my party which although I’ve been planning it since July 2023, I officially confirmed that I was actually going to move forward with the party in January 2024. That left me less than two month to plan something epic, no pressure. The first book I read in January was called Dare to Bloom. It had such a lasting impact on me that I decided to host a “Kydee Bloom Season 35th Birthday Party” in which a floral arrangement workshop would be the focal point of the event. I was very intentional about planning this party which I will share all the details in an upcoming post. Black-owned, black-women owned, and women owned businesses and vendors were prioritized for my event. Not only was my birthday taking place during Women’s History Month, but I am a stark advocate for supporting black-owned and diverse-owned businesses who don’t have the same level of access and representation as others.

Some of the fun parts about planning my birthday included shopping for the perfect outfit. My birthday happens at that weird time in the year for fashion where its about a couple of weeks before the spring/summer cute outfits come out for the season, so I usually have the dreary winter outfits to work with which means I must search extra hard for cute outfits. I ended up wearing a black-owned designer Hanifa, but that was not on purposes, I was open to any designer and any outfit that said “Birthday Girl” without having to say it and made me feel good. I bought several outfits and will share in an upcoming birthday post about the overall process. For now, check out my outfit mood board below.

I went cake tasting at BCake Ny a black-woman owned bakery that I have been purchasing my cakes from for the last 3 years. This time I decided to do a cake tasting to see if there were any other cake tasting flavors I liked over my typical vanilla or Hennessy. The cake tasting experience was so fun. I got to choose from an array of flavors (my choices) which included red velvet, blue velvet, strawberry, chocolate and I threw in another Hennessy flavor to see if I wanted that again. All of them tasted great. Strawberry and chocolate was a strong consideration but I ended up going with the red velvet. After I decided on a flavor, the manager helped me design my cake which would be floral design. I shared my birthday party invite and she was so inspired by it that she designed such a beautiful cake. Can’t wait to share the big reveal of what we concocted that day.

A Little Day Brunch is a company that my former colleague turned Brooklyn friend owns. She hosted a Black Joy Brunch for the month of February and it was one of the best brunches I’ve ever been to. I really wish I had someone to come with me and experience the magic. While there I met an amazing photographer Damora who took the most flattering photos of me. She made me feel confident and beautiful and I knew I had to work with her somehow, in the future.

The brunch was a four course meal made by Chef Lauren Von Der Pool and her team. Chef Lauren curated the menu for the MET gala which made our time in community with her extra special. The vibes and music for the event really made for a great experience. I felt like those ladies of leisure who just brunch because they are rich and have nothing else to do. I am wondering how I can make this my lifestyle, a life of leisure…did anyone say early retirement?

My health is a priority this year. I visited a new PCP doctor after doing research in January and let me tell you, it’s so important to do research. For context, I went to another doctor the month before and before I could even be seen I ran out of the facility. Something didn’t feel right. So going back to my list of doctors, I did some more research, looking at comments, reviews, specialities, and chose this one and so far so good. She’s thorough and while she seems no nonsense, I can tell she genuinely cares.

To close out the month I went to Connecticut to visit Sam. It was me and Ginger’s first time taking the train and to be honest I didn’t know what to expect. I bought Ginger a dog bag with wheels in hopes it would make travel a little more seamless but the wheels gave in before we got to Grand Central Station. I had to carry her on my suitcase.

Besides that little mishap we had a smooth ride to Connecticut and Sam was waiting for us at the train station. I will say my time in Connecticut was a little better this time than the last time but I am still not convinced about that state. Me and Sam tried food from a local vegan spot that has some West Indian / Ital vibes called Fire N Spice. We enjoyed their breakfast the most, they had delicious tofu scramble, pepper and onions sausages, and cheese burger patties, YUM!

February 25, 2024March 13, 2024

January 2024 Part 3

Let’s pivot to the good stuff, what I am reading, what I am watching, and what is top of mind for me:

READING

I am in a self-help, self-improvement era. The books I am reading are challenging me to have a growth mind-set vs. a fixed mindset. They are challenging me to search for purpose and identity. It is re-centering my relationship with God in all things.

This month I read Dare to Bloom by Zim Flores and Killing Comparison by Nona Jones.

In Dare to Bloom the book starts off by addressing the concept of purpose. We hear about purpose all the time, and historically I’ve thought about it as an all encompassing life purpose. Well Zim actually says there are two types of purpose. One that spans a lifetime and another that may span a season. I had never heard purpose broken down into a seasonal one but it immediately resonated with me. I am currently leaving a painful season in hopes that my next one will be filled with joy and blooming. Sharing a powerful quote from this book:

“In times like these it’s important that we don’t find ourselves desiring deliverance more than revelation. We just want the pain to stop. We want to jump to the place where we already have the success, the money, the prestige. We want this without the pain, discomfort, or effort. But wanting out too early, simply evades the process that God wants us to go through.It eliminates the growth we’ll experience if we stay the course.”

I picked up the book Killing Comparison because I am leaving a season where I have been comparing myself to others. Rejection from a promotional opportunity made me compare myself in a lot of ways. In reality, I was ready for the promotion, but due to so many changes, reorgs, and layoffs, I didn’t have the sponsors that could advocate for me. So what did I begin doing as a result? I compared myself. This person is further along in their career than me, and this person is doing xyz. Comparison is exhausting and it feels icky. Nona Jones writes so transparently about her own struggles with comparison and she is honest with the fact that even though she’s writing a book about it she still struggles with comparison to this day. She also reminds us that our identity needs to be rooted in God. Whenever you start comparing yourself to others she urges the reader to question “Why does it matter?” Below are a few powerful quotes and concepts from her book:

“Somewhere along the line I had surrendered my purpose for performative applause. “

“When we suffer from toxic comparison we identify people in our social circle who have an attainable degree of success. Once we have them in our line of sight we secure our identity to getting to where they are on the worthiness ruler. But anytime they advance ahead our identity feels threatened because their success moves them further out of reach.”

“Healthy comparison leads to inspiration”

WATCHING

Chile, I finished Black Cake the series on Hulu. I read the book last year and the series is phenomenal and very true to the book. This was one of the best book adaptations I’ve ever seen. Black Cake synopsis is below:

Eleanor Bennett loses her battle with cancer, leaving her children a flash drive that holds untold stories of her journey from the Caribbean to America; the stories shock her children and challenge everything they know about their family’s origin.

Check out my Black Cake book review here:

Rustin

I had no idea who Bayard Rustin was until I watched the Rustin movie on Netflix. There are so many unsung heroes in our black history and he is one of them. I did not know he was the brains and machine around the March on Washington. He was brilliant. This is must-watch movie. Rustin’s synopsis is below:

Bayard Rustin, advisor to Martin Luther King Jr., dedicates his life to the quest for racial equality, human rights and worldwide democracy. However, as an openly gay Black man, he is all but erased from the civil rights movement he helped build.

What is top of mind for me this month:

I am thinking about the over 25,000 people that have died in Palestine since October and the over 2,000 killed in Israel and hundreds of hostages with families awaiting their return home and nothing is being done to cease fire and end this. I am thinking about the children, the women getting sexually assaulted, the displacement, the fear. I am praying for humanity and that we begin to see the value in life.

I am thinking about Dr. Bonnie and how much work needs to be done to improve workplace culture and people managers who do not know how to manage people.

I am thinking about the importance of truth tellers (e.g. Katt Williams) and how telling their truth exposes the toxic, manipulative, hypocritical, and gate keeping behavior of those we revere.