Tag: life

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Listen to Your Heart

Love yourself enough to know when its time to walk away…

I know a woman who wanted to be in a relationship. The pressure from those around her was getting too deep. Friends questioned why she was still single and why she didn’t give dating a chance. Their judgment pierced her heart. She didn’t let them know, but it hurt. She felt perfectly fine discovering who she was spiritually, mentally, and professionally. She was making great strides in her life and she took pride in working her way up the success ladder. But all of that didn’t matter to them because she didn’t have a man to validate her.

One day, when she least expected it she met a guy. He saw her in the midst of a sea of women and wanted her. She was flattered. He wasn’t the type of guy she normally went for, but she was open-minded and his persistence was admirable. Turns out, he was exactly who she was looking for. He was educated, ambitious, and he understood her. It took a certain type of man to understand the type of woman she was but he did. Within a few months of talking, they knew a relationship was the next step and made it official. She was on cloud nine. Could this be her husband? Things were great until things weren’t great.

This relationship became a problem when she realized that he struggled with a problem. She went to his house one evening and his overzealousness was an indication that he had been drinking. Continue reading “Listen to Your Heart”

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The Pressure

Oh, the pressure! Maybe it’s me, maybe it’s them, but the pressure exists. The older I get the more I realize I have to try and wean out that pressure in my life. Some people are not meant to be placed in a box and I am one of those people. I feel anxiety when people tell me I can’t fulfill my dreams because it’s not lucrative or won’t make me a million dollars. I also feel that same feeling of not being able to breathe when someone tells me what I should be doing as opposed to what I am currently doing.

I am a creative. I am at my happiest place when I am doing what I love. I am not where I want to be yet, but I believe every single thing I am doing with my life is what I always wanted to do. I have a board in my room and it lists my strengths. Under strengths, it says Human Rights/Human Trafficking/Women Issues, Writing/Blogging/Websites, and Fashion Styling. Yes, fashion styling was something I always wanted to do on the side as a hobby but I never ventured into it for some reason. On the other side of the board, it has travel and a list of places I would love to visit for the year and then finally there’s a list of my ultimate dreams and goals in life. I use this as a source of inspiration. When the year started I told myself I wanted to be bold and consistent. When I look back on the first half of 2015, I’ve definitely been bolder and I’ve tried to be consistent. I manage my Reserved website and blog on both my travel and lifestyle blog. This summer I will release a documentary that I’ve worked on for the past year dealing with human trafficking/prostitution. I’ve also shared some of my projects on social media which is huge and something I still struggle being comfortable with.

Sometimes I have to remind myself that this is only the beginning and will get better from here. Maya’s video gave me hope. She talks about her come up and how God has blessed her life in so many ways. I am happy she created this video because it serves as a major source of inspiration for my journey as well.

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Four Years!

Four years ago I graduated from college. Unlike my peers, I was not happy about this accomplishment. During my senior year, I applied to Teach for America and did not get into the program, which wasn’t much of a surprise. Teaching was not in my destiny (I later became a Sunday school teacher which was more aligned with my purpose), but what the application process of Teach for America did reveal to me was how much debt I accumulated during my four years of college.

When I saw all those zero’s, I couldn’t believe it. I cried, screamed, yelled, and resented my degree. I resented everything it stood for because the knowledge that I gained in undergrad wasn’t worth that kind of money. I wrote to President Obama because the government was also on my angry list. I couldn’t believe we lived in a country where education, to ultimately make a decent living could be so expensive, especially when there were countries like Sweden, Denmark, and even Germany that sponsor their citizen’s college education. The President responded but clearly, there was nothing he could do.

When I walked across the stage I reluctantly took my degree. A few days later, I packed my bags, got settled back into my family’s apartment in Brooklyn and began to search for jobs. I felt like I was carrying the weight of the world on my shoulders. I only had until December to figure out my life or else I would be in big trouble with those loan sharks. I applied to jobs daily. I was desperate, willing to take on anything, but what I noticed was that a lot of those positions wanted people with 1-3 years of experience. Immediately, I felt like I hit a wall. Finally, I decided to put my life in God’s hands. I prayed for miracles, started going to church, and lived my life by taking advantage of this time off. I started to volunteer. I also worked for Catholic Charities for 2-months until I was offered a paid position there. My starting salary would be $26k. I remember being so excited when they gave me my offer letter. I called my mom and told her my volunteering efforts landed me my first job. Continue reading “Four Years!”

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How to Plan a Vision Board Party

IMG_9869So you want to plan a vision board party? Well, as someone who just hosted a very successful one, I’ll explain how. It’s rather simple and it was an idea that came about randomly. I knew it wouldn’t take much thought to put together and it would be a fun excuse to bring close friends together for an afternoon of fellowship and fun.

Google Docs

I am going to start this post off with a tip. Google Docs is the best. I used google docs to plan out my party and create a contact list for attendees.

Invite list

Unless you have the space, its important not to invite too many people since this is a huge arts and crafts task that requires time and space. Also since a vision board party outlines someone’s innermost desires for their present and future be mindful of who you invite and make sure everyone is encouraging to one another.

Invitation

Figure out a date, time and location. I sent all my invites via e-vite. I found a cute template and the rest was history. Most importantly, my invitations didn’t cost a dime and I was able to keep track of who viewed the invitation and RSVPs.

The invite encouraged people to answer the following questions:

  1. What is my vision for my life?
  2. What are my dreams?
  3. What do I need to do to achieve my dreams?
  4. How much of my past is shaping the way I think and what I do? Is it affecting my present and future?

I also encouraged people to bring their own magazines. Continue reading “How to Plan a Vision Board Party”

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Visualization

One of my New Year resolutions is visualization. Visualization is the idea that if I can see it, if I can hear it, if I can touch it, if I can taste it, if I can smell it, then it’s mine.

Sometimes I fall victim to small-mindedness. I’ve reduced my dreams, like so many adults, to that of an average lifestyle, which is unacceptable. We should all strive for greatness. There were people, especially our ancestors, that came before us, who paved the way so that we could be great. Take Mary McLeod Bethune. She created a multi-million dollar institution/university for African American students denied the right to an education by mainstream colleges; she was the advisor to presidents of the United States and she fought for civil rights. She did all of this with just $1.50 and 6 students in her first class. If she could do it with $1.50 why can’t we do it with all the resources we have today?

Therefore:

  • I see growth in my spirituality
  • I see service to others
  • I see Homeownership
  • I see my beautiful car
  • I see a higher degree
  • I see no more student loan debt
  • I see a strong marriage and children
  • I see happiness and immense love
  • I see a career that I love
  • I see travel to countries all over the world.

I declare all of this in the name of Jesus, it will happen with faith and vision in his time and not mine.

You should try it too!

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Peace. Love & Let God.

As the holiday season is among us, I am reminded of the immense work that God has done in my life. Unfortunately, by the people around me who are doing reflections of their year and overall life and feel like it’s not enough; they are not doing enough; they are not fulfilling a purpose; My heart is heavy as I hear their pleas of inadequacy, searching for the right words to calm their discontented spirits.

In November 2013, I was in the same predicament. I had no peace in my life nor in my heart. I wanted more. I worried about the past, the present and the future. I had very little hope that change would come. I found myself in Barnes and Noble one Sunday morning, wanting so desperately for my life to change. I spent the whole day reading books. Books about travel, books about pursuing a higher degree, books about writing my own book and books about relationships and wedding planning. What exactly did I want out of my life? All of these things. The question was, how to take the first steps towards attaining my innermost desires? I found that the answer was in humility. My number one issue was that I was not happy with my present. I felt stuck. I didn’t feel like I was progressing as fast enough as my peers. I hate to admit it now because I always consider myself my own competition, but I was looking at others and comparing their success to my own, which is the worst thing to do. I didn’t feel like I was growing professionally, I felt more than competent to take on more responsibility at work but didn’t see an avenue to pursue this growth. I’d never traveled beyond the Caribbean and I wanted to see the world so bad, I didn’t have my own apartment nor did I have a car (which was a personal choice) but hey it could’ve been nice, and I was single and hadn’t been in a substantial relationships since I was in my late teens. Humility came with acknowledging that I was more than capable of having everything my heart desired simply by putting my life in God’s hands wholeheartedly. I wouldn’t complain about my job, I would thank God for it. I wouldn’t pout when hopping into a friend’s new car I would thank God for their blessings. I shut my mouth and continued to pursue excellence in all aspects of my life even though I didn’t see nor did I fathom the plans and the ways God would shake up my life in 2014. I found peace, not only in my present but in my future. My security in God grew stronger and I learned how to truly forgive. Forgive my past, forgive those who said something to me or did something to me that did not align with how God defined me, now all that was left to do was watch God’s plans unfold and it did.

After getting baptized in January and declaring publicly that the lord was my savior, I soon booked a trip to Europe that changed my life. I planned my first event for my organization Reserved that turned out to be a success. I went to a seminar that taught me how to write and publish my own book. I went on to travel through Europe and all the cities I only dreamed of seeing. It changed my life and showed me that all things were possible through God. I came back from Europe only to discover that I was getting a raise and a bonus at work…what? I wasn’t expecting both. I completely bounced back financially overnight, it was as if I never took money out of my bank account to pay for Europe; all was covered. I started dedicating my Tuesday nights to prayer meetings at my church. The thing that I enjoyed about prayer meeting was that it taught me how to be selfless. We didn’t spend two hours praying for ourselves and our own problems, we prayed for others. We prayed for those individuals living in Asia, Haiti, and the forgotten Native Americans suffering from alcoholism and poverty on reservations. We prayed for women caught up in human trafficking and for people whose family members were suffering from cancer, mental illness, and other serious ailments. I learned that the world didn’t revolve around me, I learned to pray and I learned to worship. I even began listening to gospel music. Alpha and Omega by Israel Houghton is my favorite song ever. Eventually, things began to look up for me.

I began to take the idea of going back to school seriously. What I would go to school for was still a mystery but I knew I was beginning to love business and entrepreneurship and I always wanted to be a writer and write for a magazine.

I stopped partying as much, matter fact I didn’t party at all, yet one day I decided to go to an event called “The Greatest Day Ever” and met my boyfriend. Turns out he’s so gentle, giving, and intelligent, a little bit CRAY-CRAY, very introverted but overall a great person and I am happy he’s in my life. I soon realized in order to pursue a new relationship I would need to make sure my closet was completely cleaned and all skeletons were gone. I co-hosted a sister circle with some of my closest friends. We spent the whole day forgiving; forgiving our past, confronting skeletons that were holding us back, and praying for one another. We wrote our insecurities on an index card and released it out of our souls. It was one of the highlights of my year. All was forgiven.

Later on in the year, I began to plan to go to South Africa. Africa was just a mere dream of mine and it was just about to become a reality when my manager left the company and I was promoted into her position. Promotion comes from God, and that had God’s promise written all over it. Now, I am sitting in my bed pretty much typing my year in review anticipating my conclusion so I can thank God for his blessings. But before I do that, I want to share the inspiration for this post. I was listening to a sermon today by my Pastor Cymbala and he preached about peace and the four types of peace we need to have in our lives and in this New Year:

  • Peace with God (When you have peace with God, there’s an understanding that you’re covered)
  • Peace that covers our past (Letting go of the recriminations and sorrowful memories that might be holding you back. It is what it is; you can’t change your past all you can do is forgive yourself and others)
  • Peace that covers the present (Letting go of those feelings of inadequacy and desires of not having what you want at a certain age or not being where you want to be. Be content in what you are blessed with but continue to pursue your goals.)
  • Peace that covers the future (being secure in that all things work together for the greater good)

In life, there are ups and downs, highs and lows, good days and bad days. But one of the things God has shown me this year is that he has a plan for each and every one of our lives and it is not chance or coincidence that we are where we currently are in our lives. We are exactly where we need to be. The present, no matter how monotonous it might be, is preparing us for our future and our past cannot be changed so let go of the baggage. God has mapped out our life from when we take our first breath to when we take our last and we have to be secure in knowing that he knows what’s best for us and he will provide beyond our innermost desires. He will unleash dreams we never imagined could unfold in our lives. So get ready.

Peace, Love and Happy Holidays!

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