LifestyleByKy

February 2, 2015January 7, 2020

Relationship Weight

I tried on a pair of jeans that used to be big for me in the summer. They’re boyfriend jeans, which tend to be baggy. I got the jeans on one leg, and then the other but pulling them past my thighs was a problem. They no longer fit me! I gained weight. My friend coined it relationship weight. Sometimes when you embark on a new relationship, you gain unnecessary weight and I have all the signs and symptoms of getting too comfortable and picking up unhealthy eating habits.

Sign #1-I canceled my Gym Membership

Relationship or not, I would’ve canceled my gym membership because I don’t particularly like going to the gym in the winter; I don’t like it when the brisk air hits you while walking out of the gym all hot and sweaty, it’s a terrible mixture of temperatures. I would much rather be cuddled up in my blanket watching reruns of “Living Single.” However, I do spend a lot more time with my significant other, which takes away from the time I could be at a gym so there you have it, faux pas number one.

Sign #2-Date More. Eat More.

It seems like when you’re in a relationship all you guys do is eat. You go on dates and eat, you spend the night in and eat. I’ve never eaten so much take-out in my life.

Sign #3 Comfort & Compliments

The compliments from my boyfriend are endless, and no I don’t get tired of them. His acknowledgment of my beauty makes me feel great but I’ve gotten too comfortable. He may “love me the way I am” but it’s never a good idea to lose self-control because of the validation you are getting from someone else.

The first step is acknowledging that I have a problem. I came to this conclusion last week when I ate 3-cartons of Ben and Jerry Red Velvet Ice Cream without a care in the world. I am losing self-control and I know it, but I will bounce back. Being healthy is so important, and I have to find ways to remain healthy while in a relationship or else…

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February 1, 2015December 30, 2022

Books By Ky: The Color Complex by Kathy Russell

The Color Complex was an eye-opener. When I was a sophomore in college I began extensive research on the coined term Colorism. Colorism is discrimination and prejudice based on skin tone. It baffled me how many people are oppressors and oppressed by this crippling belief. When I opened the pages of this book, I learned dark secrets about African American history, my history, that were reprehensible, to say the least. Instead of sticking with each other we turned against one another based on our skin tone. Lighter-skinned blacks who coined themselves as the “bonafides” or “blue bloods” were allotted more opportunities than their darker counterparts during the years after slavery ended. They separated themselves from other blacks with degrading tests such as the Brown Paper Bag and Comb test which denied entry to anyone who didn’t have light enough skin or straight hair to pass. They were determined to keep their status in society and win favor among whites. The book goes on to explore the business of skin lightening and colorism in modern-day. It was very hard to read these things, but I was enlightened more so about my history and the off-putting things blacks had to do for acceptance and survival in America.

February 1, 2015December 30, 2022

Black History Month is Here!

Black History Month is one of my favorite times of the year. I love my history! When I was about 10 years old my aunt took me to the Schomburg Museum for the first time and I was able to see actual slave shackles that wrapped around the legs and hands of my ancestors as they came over to the Americas from Africa. I was moved by that moment and made every effort to learn and understand the plight of blacks. To commemorate this year, I plan on sharing some of my favorite African American literature, which I’ve read throughout the years that not only enlightened me but changed my perspective on race, race relations, and my role as a black woman in this world.

January 20, 2015January 7, 2020

Reserved Redefined

Reserved: set apart or kept for a specific purpose

I’ve been battling this idea of Purpose for a long time. Now more than ever I have this feeling that I much rather live in my purpose, doing something that I love and always wanted to do, rather than chase money. My heart turns over when I hear countless people work for the sole purpose of money “chasing money” being all about their “paper” because what kind of peace can that bring to your life? The irony of monetary gain is that you’ll never have enough, thus you’ll always be chasing but I know I want more. There has to be more to life. There has to be a reason why God deemed me necessary to be on this earth.
One Saturday in 2012, my mom dragged me to an event hosted by an amazing women’s organization. I say dragged because I really didn’t want to go anywhere that my mom would enjoy; it was an automatic inclination that I would hate it. Yet unbeknownst to me, this event changed my life. I learned the meaning of purpose. I learned what it looked like to be a woman of purpose as all the women at this event were not only God-fearing women but classy and successful as well. I listened as the keynote speaker laid out ways to live in purpose and I left this event feeling rejuvenated and enlightened. I wanted to find my purpose. The only question was, how?

A few months later, I was given an opportunity to work on Reserved. Reserved was a vision of my dad who wanted to introduce women programming to his network, Soundbooth TV. It was a true calling as the heavens opened and the angels were singing. I’ve always wanted to work with women. Ever since I could remember I searched for ways to empower women, and now a whole operation was being handed over to me at no cost; the only thing I had to do was make Reserved thrive.

Initially, the exchange between my dad and me was a no brainer. I would introduce a new roster of interesting topics that all women would appreciate; I would change the look and the feel of Reserved and turn Reserved into something I knew it was capable of being. Reserved would be huge because there were hardly any shows showcasing millennial women who are smart and ambitious doing great things with their lives and having a platform to discuss the issues they care about. I wanted to show the world that women did not have to be against one another but for each other. I wanted to change the game. However, as time progressed, my vision got fuzzy. I became fearful of failure. What if no one responded to this? What if people would not support it? What if it was done by someone else already? I struggled with the premise of Reserved as well; would it be a Christian based show? or would Reserved address the issues that all women faced-Christian or not? Would Reserved be like any other bubble gum talk show or would it hit home for many women as we explored the hard truths of womanhood? I struggled internally with my own capabilities. I was insecure. I never produced or directed anything a day in my life, how would I know if what I was doing was right? I was afraid that my inexperience would be seen by others. I was doubtful of my capabilities of taking this project to the next level, it all seemed impossible. I talked myself out of this opportunity. I let the devil feed my mind with lies that I was not good enough or that I wasn’t even enough. As time went on I continued to push through with the project spending countless nights up editing the website, creating press kits, researching, sending emails and I felt like everything I was doing was in vain because I no longer believed in myself. I had too many people telling me how to run Reserved. I had too many people dictating to me how Reserved should be and what they would and would not do. Too many egos, too many disorganized meetings, and I realized everything that was going astray was solely because of me. I lost sight of the mission, I lost sight of the vision. I lost sight of the purpose and because I lost sight of the true meaning of Reserved my team did as well. It wasn’t about scripts, makeup artists and what clothes everyone would wear. It was about bringing the stories of women to the forefront, giving women a voice. Reserved was really about the overall empowerment of women.

I needed a break and fast. I spent the year 2014 trying to find purpose outside of Reserved. I traveled all over Europe and explored cities that I’ve always dreamed of visiting. I realized that I had such a passion for travel. I went on to volunteer for an amazing travel platform for millennials in which I learned the ins and outs of a growing and thriving business. I got a promotion at work, I met an amazing guy and yet with all these great things happening in my life, something still didn’t feel right. Throughout the year I was constantly reminded of Reserved by pictures, friends, family, my dad, all wanting to know what happened? Every time they asked, I felt discontented in my soul. I knew I was running, but when something is meant for you to complete, nothing you do can keep you away from it. I knew one day I would have to confront Reserved again. Yes, I thought if I could just find other interests in my life then all would be well but to be honest I found purpose in Reserved. Reserved was something I could call my own. It was a creation that gave me extreme purpose. Not only was I just Kydee, but I was Kydee the producer, director, stylist, blogger, marketer, talent scout, administrator, and visionary. I learned a true lesson of life from Reserved, that we are who we want to be and with that being said I could no longer run away from my purpose.

So today, I make a declaration to work my heart and soul into redefining Reserved in the year 2015, and what better time than the present, a new year is among us and I want to make this year great for Reserved. I am going to build a great team and great content. I am going to work hard to share stories and to make Reserved more interactive and engaging for our audience. I am going to redefine Reserved and just be better this year. I’ve matured greatly in the last year and I understand how amazing an opportunity Reserved is. I thank everyone who has supported us thus far and I hope and pray you will continue to do so. If at first you don’t succeed try and try again and I am making an oath to try until Reserved is as successful as I originally envisioned it to be.

January 19, 2015December 30, 2022

Motown: The Supremes

They started out with the nickname”No-Hit Supremes” and went on to become one of the biggest pop girl groups of all time. I recently became fascinated with them after seeing “Motown the Musical” and when I say fascinated, I mean staying up all night looking at pictures, reading biographies and watching youtube clips of their performances. Sharing some of their amazingness with you guys:

http://https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JC-MDYopSoA

http://https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lxny2KMd0TI

http://https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-rrHjt0HtWQ

http://https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7zx89GX96ws

January 19, 2015January 7, 2020

Motown The Musical

To be honest, I didn’t know what to expect from Motown the Musical. In life I’ve learned the least you expect the more you gain and as a result, I really enjoyed this broadway show. It was one of the best shows I have ever seen and I would recommend it to anyone.

Here are 10 Things I loved about Motown the Musical:

1. The History: One of the things I enjoyed about Motown the Musical was the incorporation of historical events from the 60s and 70s including President John F. Kennedy’s death, segregation in the south, race riots/protests, the Vietnam War and the death of MLK. These were just a few of the incidents during that time that shook the nation, black and white to their core and I believe it was very significant to incorporate these events into the play. It added a lot of perspectives and illustrated the magnitude of building a powerhouse such as Motown in the midst of such chaos in America and around the world.

Picture from the NEW YORK TIMES — Photo Cred: NY Times

2. The Storyline: The storyline was from the perspective of music mogul Berry Gordy. Like many 20-something-year-olds, Berry Gordy had a dream and he watched his dream come to fruition. He created Motown, one of the most successful record labels in history. But this label was not invincible and had its highs and lows. Berry Gordy built the careers of world-renowned stars including Diana Ross and The Supremes, The Temptations, Jackson 5 and Marvin Gaye just to name a few. However, a lot of his precious artists quickly left him for more money with the bigger record labels like RCA. It was inspiring to see how loyal Smokey Robinson was through it all. I had no idea they were best friends prior to the musical. I learned so much about how hard it really is to create something from the ground up. My eyes were glued from the beginning to the end.

3. The Costumes: I was amazed by the costuming in this play. I even googled to cross-check the accuracy of these costumes and they were spot on. The colors were bright and aligned greatly with what each of these stars wore during that time. Amazing! 4. The Engagement: When the actress, Valisia LeKae, playing Diana Ross sang Reach Out and Touch she actually forced everyone in the audience to hold one another’s hand and sway from side to side. She even called audience members to come on stage and sing with her. It was so engaging.

5. The Acting: I enjoyed the acting. The actors and actresses were believable. Berry Gordy’s character was charming and passionate. Diana Ross’ character had sass. Little Michael Jackson gave me chills.

6. The Music: Oh, the music of those times was beautiful. Motown music was made out of love and passion. We all know love never goes out of style. The singers of the Motown Era were one of a kind.

7. My Seats: My seats were orchestra level smack dab in the center. It was perfect!

8. The Enchantment: I really felt like I was there. I felt like I took a trip back in time to the ’60s and I was so enchanted.

9. Sing-A-Long: I knew all the songs and it felt good to be able to sing-a-long without being looked at like I was insane. There were others who knew more than me-which was to be expected as Motown is way before my time. It’s amazing how relevant Motown still is today. 10. It’s Legacy: The legacy of Motown is undisputed. Motown has captured the hearts of generations and generations to come. I had no idea that Tina Marie, Rick James, and The Commodores were a product of Motown. They were huge in their day. I also didn’t know songs like “My Guy” was a Motown creation. I became enlightened during the show and it illustrated to me just how much of an impact Motown had and continues to have. It’s a household name. Berry Gordy may not have felt appreciated but he is a musical genius and his legacy will live on forever.

December 28, 2014December 30, 2022

Visualization

One of my New Year resolutions is visualization. Visualization is the idea that if I can see it, if I can hear it, if I can touch it, if I can taste it, if I can smell it, then it’s mine.

Sometimes I fall victim to small-mindedness. I’ve reduced my dreams, like so many adults, to that of an average lifestyle, which is unacceptable. We should all strive for greatness. There were people, especially our ancestors, that came before us, who paved the way so that we could be great. Take Mary McLeod Bethune. She created a multi-million dollar institution/university for African American students denied the right to an education by mainstream colleges; she was the advisor to presidents of the United States and she fought for civil rights. She did all of this with just $1.50 and 6 students in her first class. If she could do it with $1.50 why can’t we do it with all the resources we have today?

Therefore:

I see growth in my spirituality
I see service to others
I see Homeownership
I see my beautiful car
I see a higher degree
I see no more student loan debt
I see a strong marriage and children
I see happiness and immense love
I see a career that I love
I see travel to countries all over the world.

I declare all of this in the name of Jesus, it will happen with faith and vision in his time and not mine.

You should try it too!

December 28, 2014January 7, 2020

Peace. Love & Let God.

As the holiday season is among us, I am reminded of the immense work that God has done in my life. Unfortunately, by the people around me who are doing reflections of their year and overall life and feel like it’s not enough; they are not doing enough; they are not fulfilling a purpose; My heart is heavy as I hear their pleas of inadequacy, searching for the right words to calm their discontented spirits.

In November 2013, I was in the same predicament. I had no peace in my life nor in my heart. I wanted more. I worried about the past, the present and the future. I had very little hope that change would come. I found myself in Barnes and Noble one Sunday morning, wanting so desperately for my life to change. I spent the whole day reading books. Books about travel, books about pursuing a higher degree, books about writing my own book and books about relationships and wedding planning. What exactly did I want out of my life? All of these things. The question was, how to take the first steps towards attaining my innermost desires? I found that the answer was in humility. My number one issue was that I was not happy with my present. I felt stuck. I didn’t feel like I was progressing as fast enough as my peers. I hate to admit it now because I always consider myself my own competition, but I was looking at others and comparing their success to my own, which is the worst thing to do. I didn’t feel like I was growing professionally, I felt more than competent to take on more responsibility at work but didn’t see an avenue to pursue this growth. I’d never traveled beyond the Caribbean and I wanted to see the world so bad, I didn’t have my own apartment nor did I have a car (which was a personal choice) but hey it could’ve been nice, and I was single and hadn’t been in a substantial relationships since I was in my late teens. Humility came with acknowledging that I was more than capable of having everything my heart desired simply by putting my life in God’s hands wholeheartedly. I wouldn’t complain about my job, I would thank God for it. I wouldn’t pout when hopping into a friend’s new car I would thank God for their blessings. I shut my mouth and continued to pursue excellence in all aspects of my life even though I didn’t see nor did I fathom the plans and the ways God would shake up my life in 2014. I found peace, not only in my present but in my future. My security in God grew stronger and I learned how to truly forgive. Forgive my past, forgive those who said something to me or did something to me that did not align with how God defined me, now all that was left to do was watch God’s plans unfold and it did.

After getting baptized in January and declaring publicly that the lord was my savior, I soon booked a trip to Europe that changed my life. I planned my first event for my organization Reserved that turned out to be a success. I went to a seminar that taught me how to write and publish my own book. I went on to travel through Europe and all the cities I only dreamed of seeing. It changed my life and showed me that all things were possible through God. I came back from Europe only to discover that I was getting a raise and a bonus at work…what? I wasn’t expecting both. I completely bounced back financially overnight, it was as if I never took money out of my bank account to pay for Europe; all was covered. I started dedicating my Tuesday nights to prayer meetings at my church. The thing that I enjoyed about prayer meeting was that it taught me how to be selfless. We didn’t spend two hours praying for ourselves and our own problems, we prayed for others. We prayed for those individuals living in Asia, Haiti, and the forgotten Native Americans suffering from alcoholism and poverty on reservations. We prayed for women caught up in human trafficking and for people whose family members were suffering from cancer, mental illness, and other serious ailments. I learned that the world didn’t revolve around me, I learned to pray and I learned to worship. I even began listening to gospel music. Alpha and Omega by Israel Houghton is my favorite song ever. Eventually, things began to look up for me.

I began to take the idea of going back to school seriously. What I would go to school for was still a mystery but I knew I was beginning to love business and entrepreneurship and I always wanted to be a writer and write for a magazine.

I stopped partying as much, matter fact I didn’t party at all, yet one day I decided to go to an event called “The Greatest Day Ever” and met my boyfriend. Turns out he’s so gentle, giving, and intelligent, a little bit CRAY-CRAY, very introverted but overall a great person and I am happy he’s in my life. I soon realized in order to pursue a new relationship I would need to make sure my closet was completely cleaned and all skeletons were gone. I co-hosted a sister circle with some of my closest friends. We spent the whole day forgiving; forgiving our past, confronting skeletons that were holding us back, and praying for one another. We wrote our insecurities on an index card and released it out of our souls. It was one of the highlights of my year. All was forgiven.

Later on in the year, I began to plan to go to South Africa. Africa was just a mere dream of mine and it was just about to become a reality when my manager left the company and I was promoted into her position. Promotion comes from God, and that had God’s promise written all over it. Now, I am sitting in my bed pretty much typing my year in review anticipating my conclusion so I can thank God for his blessings. But before I do that, I want to share the inspiration for this post. I was listening to a sermon today by my Pastor Cymbala and he preached about peace and the four types of peace we need to have in our lives and in this New Year:

Peace with God (When you have peace with God, there’s an understanding that you’re covered)
Peace that covers our past (Letting go of the recriminations and sorrowful memories that might be holding you back. It is what it is; you can’t change your past all you can do is forgive yourself and others)
Peace that covers the present (Letting go of those feelings of inadequacy and desires of not having what you want at a certain age or not being where you want to be. Be content in what you are blessed with but continue to pursue your goals.)

Peace that covers the future (being secure in that all things work together for the greater good)

In life, there are ups and downs, highs and lows, good days and bad days. But one of the things God has shown me this year is that he has a plan for each and every one of our lives and it is not chance or coincidence that we are where we currently are in our lives. We are exactly where we need to be. The present, no matter how monotonous it might be, is preparing us for our future and our past cannot be changed so let go of the baggage. God has mapped out our life from when we take our first breath to when we take our last and we have to be secure in knowing that he knows what’s best for us and he will provide beyond our innermost desires. He will unleash dreams we never imagined could unfold in our lives. So get ready.

Peace, Love and Happy Holidays!

December 19, 2014December 30, 2022

Blessings for Obedience

Deuteronomy 28:1-6

“If you fully obey the Lord your God and carefully follow all his commands, I give you today, the Lord your God will set you high above all the nations on earth. All these blessings will come upon you and accompany you if you obey the Lord your God. You will be blessed in the city and blessed in the country. The fruit of your womb will be blessed, and the crops of your land and the young of your livestock-the calves of your herds and the lambs of your flocks. Your basket and your kneading through will be blessed. You will be blessed when you come in and blessed when you go out…”

Blessings. I believe I am living in a great season, one that I don’t even deserve. It all began in January. I booked my trip to Europe and 2-months later I was traveling to the very cities and countries I’ve only dreamed of seeing. I was living in my dream and my very purpose thanks to God. He allowed me to see the world, he allowed me to experience European culture. He allowed me to LIVE. You can read more about my travels on travelbyky.com

By April, a week after I returned from my trip, he blessed me with a bonus and raise at my company. I wasn’t expecting both. It was a Tuesday when this happened and I headed straight to Brooklyn Tabernacle’s Prayer Meeting. I’ve been going faithfully ever since.

In August, after attending my friend’s wedding I was so sick of my love life or lack thereof. Fake men, fake relationships, nothing authentic. I yearned for something real. I connected with Joe and sparks flew; we’ve been together for about 3-months now. Yes, we have our ups and downs. Yes, my biggest issue with him is that he needs to be more invested in God but he’s a great person. He’s thoughtful, we want the same things out of life and I enjoy being with him. I pray for his salvation and rebirth. There was a reason God put him in my life and I hope that my faith can have a strong influence on him.

Yet, things still were not feeling complete for me. Work was draining. I was sick of people talking to me any kind of way. Sick of the routine and non-growth in my position. Until one day everything changed. They let my boss go and suddenly, I had to step up and get her job done. It was a big deal and a huge game-changer for me. Suddenly, I had a purpose and believed I could do anything. Nothing was impossible with God. He answered prayers I never knew I was praying for. He proved himself faithful. He’s my protector, my provider, my father, he loves me. He knows me. He wants the best for me.

I’ve been obedient to him but I can always stand to be more obedient. Jesus has proved himself so faithful to me this year. Looking forward to the blessings of 2015.

October 30, 2014December 30, 2022

Night Cap With Jeff Koons

Honestly, I only wanted to go to the Koons exhibit to get an amazing picture in front of Balloon Dog. I’ve only heard of Jeff Koons work once in my life while researching Asian culture. Having just saw the Kara Walker exhibit, the Koons exhibit was not as deep but I was still very intrigued because I love avant-garde art.

I pre-purchased my ticket to avoid waiting on the long line and invited two friends to experience “Cult-of-Koons” also known as Retrospective at the Whitney Museum.

We started on the top floor and worked our way down. The first exhibit we visited was called Antiquity which showcased artwork from the ancient world infused with 1950’s pinups girls. We eventually made our way to Popeye and Hulk Elvis before discovering the “nirvana” of the exhibit also known as Balloon Dog and the Playdough structure. I was intrigued by his artwork but to be honest I didn’t understand it. What was the deeper meaning behind his sculptures?

We proceeded to The inflatables, Gazing Ball, and Banality. I enjoyed these exhibits the least. For one, I am not a fan of readymade art. I understand the sexual undertones of the inflatables but it lacked substance. Equilibrium was pretty cool; how he got the basketball to stay afloat in that water was beyond me. Luxury and Degradation was funny. All hail to the Hennessy piece.

Overall, I enjoyed a great night out with my girls. There is something so cool about going to a museum at 1AM. I felt so Sex in the City when Carrie was dating Aleksandr Petrovsky. We eventually found out the Retrospective was in a sense mocking and/or highlighting the tangible things that we value so much in our culture including sex, athletes, celebrities, alcohol, and play dough among others. Twas a night to remember.