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20-Something Year Old Grandma’s

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Your friend asks you to hang out and you’re totally down, but when the time comes your bed feels more comfortable than usual, so you wait as if staying in bed will exude a mystical power that will convince your friend not to want to go anywhere…and then the text comes in…

Friend: Girl, I am so tired
You: Me Too, such a long day
Friend: You still want to go
You: It’s up to you…I’m down for whatever
Friend: Maybe we should stay home
You: kk **Jumps out of bed and does the happy dance**

If this exchange sounds familiar and you are only in your twenties then you are a GRANDMA! You might be wondering, what makes me such an expert and it’s because I’m a grandma. I know I am. I’ve always preferred staying home than being out on the streets until the wee hours of the morning. I hate coming in when the sun comes out, it just ruins my sleep patterns. As much as I love fun and social gatherings, being home is just as fun.

See below, some signs of grandma-hood approaching prematurely upon you:

1-Your friend call’s you at 11pm and you’re already sleeping…ON A FRIDAY NIGHT!

2-Your idea of an epic night is staying home and watching movies in bed…bring on the Love Jones!

3-You’re totally over the “club” scene..but remember back in the day when the club was like reaching nirvana? It was just the coolest thing ever.

4-You use words like “Back in the day” (see #3).

5-When you actually do go out, every song that the DJ play’s you have to turn to the friend that is least likely to judge you and ask “Whose song is this?”

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Up and Down and Up and Down

I just finished the book of Genesis and it was powerful. I mean, of course, the Old Testament is really hard to follow with its list of lineages but the stories are amazing. The story of Joseph, son of Jacob and Rachel captivated me the most. Joseph literally went through highs and lows in his life but not once did he lose faith in God. He was favored by the lord and God always looked out for him. Joseph was Jacob’s favorite son and his brothers were envious of him. He had a dream that could be interpreted as his brothers one day bowing down to him and this made his brothers mad. So they came up with a plot to throw him in a pit to die. However, that planned changed when they decided to sell him into slavery and tell their father that he was killed by wild animals.
As I said, Joseph’s life was pretty tumultuous filled with highs and lows which I want to illustrate.
When Jacob found out about the news of his cherished son, he was heartbroken. He believed he was dead. Meanwhile, Joseph, who was sold into slavery, was faring well, in spite of his circumstances. The slave master found favor in him and asked him to rule over his house, a high in Joseph’s life (HIGH). However, his master’s wife thought Joseph was handsome and attempted numerous sexual advances towards him in which he denied each of them. She, in turn, accused him of trying to rape her and they threw him in the pits of jail (LOW). While in jail he found favor with the prison guard and was able to rule over the jail (HIGH). Soon, two men of Pharaoh’s court were thrown into jail and they had troubling dreams in which Joseph was able to interpret through the spirit of God. He told the men to remember him when they got out of jail but they didn’t (LOW). Two-years later Pharaoh needed a dream interpreter and no one in the vicinity of Egypt could interpret the dream…finally, the bread bearer of Pharaoh’s court, that was in jail with Joseph remembered that he could interpret dreams and told Pharaoh. Pharaoh ordered Joseph to be released from jail and interpret his dream (HIGH). Once Joseph was able to interpret Pharaoh’s dream and predicted that there would be seven years of abundance and seven years of famine, Pharaoh ordered that Joseph reigns over Egypt (EXTREME HIGH).
During the years of the famine Joseph brothers, the same guys that sold him into slavery bowed down to him humbly and asked for grain to survive. Joseph recognized them immediately but they didn’t recognize him. He was only 17-years old when they sold him into slavery, so with all the years that passed, he was a man now.  He played around with their heads for a bit until he finally confessed that he was Joseph and they glorified him (HIGH).
As much as it hurt Joseph to confront his past, he forgave his brothers and they lived abundantly under his rule. This story was amazing and just showed that we may go through highs and lows but God remains with us always. This story illustrates purpose. It was God’s purpose all along to have Joseph sold into slavery and to rise to the top. God has a purpose for all of our lives and this story instilled in my purpose, patience, and trust in GOD!
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2.0.1.4

Kydee Williams
Every new year brings a new me. I have so many things that I can do more of on this journey to becoming a better person and although I don’t know what God has in store for my future, I will not progress if I don’t start changing old habits. As I patiently wait for my season to come, I know there are things I can do in the meantime to become a better person for myself and the people around me. So here are 10 things I can and will do in 2014 to be a strong woman of God and of my word:
  1. More Prayer.
  2. I can’t survive on my own. I need God. More alone time with God. I am a mess without church.
  3. Refrain as much as I can from gossip, including celebrity gossip.
  4. Limit the amount of time and money spent on going out and work on something more productive like business plans, to-do lists or a blueprint for the first and last 6-months of the year.
  5. Sometimes, the friends you knew the longest can change. It’s ok to let go…it might be necessary.
  6. Finish what you start. No more unfinished projects and goals.
  7. Do I give to the less fortunate enough? I ask myself that question a lot. We are put here to give ourselves away in terms of service to others, not to keep things to ourselves.
  8. Support others and be more encouraging, you never know how it can help someone
  9. Avoid past mistakes and cycles.
  10.  Social Media “likes” does not validate me, you or anyone for that matter.
Happy New Year Everyone!

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Waiting for the One

 
In a world where sex in relationships is always the answer, it’s extremely inspiring to see Devon Franklin and Meghan Good subversively go against the grain and refrain from sex until after their nuptials. The choice was a mutual one as they wanted to connect on a personal, emotional and spiritual level before they took the dive into the physical and that is very commendable. Nowadays females believe if a man buys her flowers, takes her out on a few dates or holds the door for her, he deserves the goodies but where are our standards as women if we continue to perpetuate and accept these low standards of behavior from men? These are things that they should do.
Some men need to know that it’s going to take much more work than a few dates to get the goodies. But we are not allowing this to happen if we condition them into believing they deserve sex after dropping a few dollars. I believe in building an emotional connection with a guy. I believe in intimacy with someone only after a strong bond has been built but I also believe in celibacy and waiting until marriage before having sex with someone. These pure ideologies are almost forgotten in today’s world. People believe sex is the answer and forget that sex before marriage is a sin. I love that both Meghan and Devon can be role models for future relationships especially since they are such an upscale couple. They reinforce the fact that it’s ok to abstain from sex with someone that you love until you have developed a strong foundation or until marriage. It takes a strong and positive couple or individual to abstain from sex especially in the oversexed world that we live in today. Meghan Good is truly an inspiration to women.

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Appreciating Our Breasts



I may never be able to shake the memory of the first time I saw my grandmother without breast. We were in Jamaica for the whole summer and I was only 10 years old. She was changing her shirt and my back was facing her as I watched television. To her surprise, I turned around to ask her a question and saw her bare chest with scars that looked so painful; stitched up to shield where her breast used to be.

I could recollect a time when my grandmother had breast, I used to lay on them as a child just to listen to her insides and be that much closer to her. I loved to hear her heartbeat, but now those memories were just memories, I could never use her God-given breast as a means of comfort or security anymore, and if this hurt me I could only imagine how much it hurt her.

My family chose not to tell us that my grandmother almost died from this cancerous disease called breast cancer. Now at 24, my mother has still not outwardly broken the news to me, because she assumes that I may just know. Writing this is very hard for me because I think about the numerous women who complain about their breast being too small or too big, meanwhile, there are women out there that are sick and without breast because of this disease. This year during Breast Cancer Awareness Month I volunteered on behalf of my organization, Reserved at “Avon Breast Cancer Event Eve” and it was a very humbling experience. Being among breast cancer survivors who were so full of life reminded me just how important it is to take advantage of every day that we are healthy, alive, and well.

Click the link below to check out #TeamReserved’s Breast Cancer Campaign:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g0MkwB2t-ys

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Desensitized to Hollering

Walking along the streets of New York can make the most unattractive girl (and I mean this respectfully) feel beautiful. There’s always that construction worker, dope boy, or high school junior who thinks he has a chance. Men are socialized to “holler” at a woman when they like what they see. Women are socialized to play hard to get, try to ignore the comments, and continue with their day. The way some women cope with the unwarranted attention is by plugging in their headphones in and turning up the volume high.
 
I want to believe the first time I got hollered at on the street was at age 11. Coming home from junior high school, I never looked older than my age but the boys on the corner tried to talk to me and I ignored them in fear of this new and unnecessary attention.
Around age 13, was the first time I was cursed out because I refused to respond.
By age 14 Franklin Avenue boys decided to throw water on the girls that walked by. Of course, innocent ol’ me was hit in the crossfire on my way to picking up my 8th-grade yearbook; as a result, I went to school drenched.
By age 15, around the same time of year (June), en route to my house the same Franklin Avenue boys decided they wanted to throw water on me and my friends because we refused to speak to them. Let’s just say things went from zero to a hundred real quick. I had back up this time. 
Continue reading “Desensitized to Hollering”
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High Tea Time

On Saturday I attended my first ever Tea Party, hosted by my dear friend Shavon and let’s just say, it was to die for. It was at the Bosie Tea Parlor in the west village and was inspired by Alice and Wonderland.


Of course, I got there late because I had an unexpected date but I was just in time for the food and the tea. I am not a fan of tea, however, in the spirit of the afternoon, I decided to order a berry tea to go with my teacakes and scones. My friends and I, (I call them my college sweethearts) spent the afternoon chatting about fitness, boyfriends and our careers.

After the tea party, we gathered for some pictures and promised each other to do this again. I was overjoyed with the success of my Saturday. It was absolutely divine.

Kydee Williams

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Afro-Punk

BROOKLYN STAND-UP. I still remember a time when I was afraid to say that. I was 12-years old in Las Vegas riding the gondola in the Venetian hotel. There was a couple riding with me who asked where I was from and I abruptly said “Manhattan” before my cousin could say, Brooklyn. That was one of the biggest lies I had ever told as a child. My cousin looked at me completely bewildered and later asked why I would tell such a lie. To be honest, I was too ashamed to admit in front of these suburban white people that the two black kids in the gondola with them were from Brooklyn, Manhattan was so much more upscale at the time. The couple serenaded me with questions about city life as I dug myself deeper and deeper into the lie. Brooklyn for me was not a source of pride when I was younger. It represented dodging gunshots at parties and drug dealers on every corner. It was a place that I desperately wanted to escape.

When I returned home from college, so much change took place. There were cute little shops, cultural events and Brooklyn somehow emerged as the center of New York. I fell in love with “my hood” that I took for granted for so many years. My backyard was the Brooklyn Botanic Gardens, The Brooklyn Museum, and Prospect Park, landmarks that people travel from all over the world to encounter. Why did it take me so long to realize the value in that?

Brooklyn is my soul. It shaped me into who I am and showed me who I didn’t want to be. This summer the most profound thing happened; not once did I have to leave the comfort of my borough to have fun…Brooklyn became the new Manhattan. From the beer gardens to the beautiful summer nights at the museum, I am proud to say that I was born and raised in Brooklyn. I AM BROOKLYN.

A few Sunday’s ago marked the 9th Annual AfroPunk Festival in Commodore Park. My friends and I decided to go and ultimately had a blast. We listened to the funky mixed beats of Quest Love and the hardcore conscious rap of Public Enemy. We danced in the dewy grass and signed petitions to help women in Africa gain better health care. We ate from the fish taco food truck and sipped the foam off of our beer cans. We enjoyed a day of fun in the park while simultaneously the MTV Video Music Awards was going on at the Barclays Center. By 11PM  we didn’t want to go home; we were in Brooklyn during one of it’s biggest nights, ever, so we headed straight to Myrtle avenue to watch the VMAs and listen to the dope 90s musical vibe of Va$htie and Oscar. Never in my wildest dreams would I picture the day when Va$htie would bring her 1992 party out of the Lower East Side and into Brooklyn. As the lyrical flows of Brooklyn rappers, Biggie and Jay Z blasted through the speakers of Brooklyn Tap House, I couldn’t help but feel proud of how far my borough has come. A place that once served as a source of shame was now a name that I could proudly wear across my chest.

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Criticizing Kids…Really?

I am starting to get sick and tired of the negativity that surfaces from tabloid blog sites. If the harsh words and criticisms did not have an effect on the celebrities who contrary to popular belief are human beings with actual feelings and emotions then I wouldn’t be so enraged by the negative backlash, but it does. I will never forget how my heart dropped when I read the cruel words used to describe a beautiful baby named Blu Ivy; the negativity that came about from the birth of that child was disgusting. Some people even went so far as calling the newborn the “anti-christ”.

Furthermore, someone had the nerve to criticize Tia Mowry’s son Cree who is one of the cutest babies I have ever seen. What has this world come to? Have we stooped so low in our morals that it has now become acceptable to attack children?  If comments from ignorant bystanders sitting behind their computers all day are encouraged then we should eliminate the comment section altogether. Sticks and stones may break bones, but what hurts too. We have to do better people.

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Letter to my 19 year old self

Dear Lost One,

You are beautiful. Don’t you ever let anyone have that much power over you again. Yes, I get it, you love to be in love. You love companionship. You love having that special person by your side. You sometimes even go as far as to dream about true love one day. Your fantasies hinder you. It’s sweet that you have optimistic dreams of being in love but don’t confuse love with straight lust.
Once again you are beautiful. You have an amazing personality and you are so smart. You have the whole world at your hands and yet you don’t see that. You have dreams and aspirations. You are smart enough to make Dean’s List and get over a 3.5 GPA every semester thus far. Yet your thoughts are warped around a guy who doesn’t feel the same way that you feel about him. He doesn’t like you that much. He doesn’t see your worth. And with knowing all of this, with knowing that he is not the man of your dreams you continue to chase him relentlessly. In math class, your thoughts are surrounded by him as opposed to algebra. You can’t seem to get him out of your mind. What does he have to do to make you see that you are worth more than him? I mean he already has tried to talk to your best friend; He stood you up to sleep with other girls on New Years; He calls you once in a blue moon; After leaving your school and spending a wonderful weekend with you he uses Facebook to tell the world that he is taking applications for wifey, and this is all in the span of knowing him for only 3 months. The red flags are there. Does he have to go to the extent of getting his ex-girlfriend pregnant for the second time and forcing her to do the unthinkable?…oh wait he did that. Does he have to scream from the rooftops “I don’t want to be with you”? wait he did that and finally, does he have to critique your every move and make you feel terrible about yourself damaging your confidence?… Yah he did that. Aren’t you embarrassed?
What will it take, Lost One, for you to see that you can do better than him? You still think that maybe, just maybe, he can change and if you drunk text him enough exclaiming that you both should be together then maybe one day he will realize this too and ask you to be his girlfriend.
Lost One, you are blind. How could such a pretty face be so blinded to your own worth? How can you look in the mirror knowing that you are in college, working towards gaining a degree and yet you settle for someone two years older than you that cannot even get a job? You want so desperately to call someone who chains smoke reefers all day your man? What is wrong with that picture? Does he even know his own worth?
Aren’t you sick of being afraid to call him because he may not have time for you? Aren’t you sick of waiting around for his call and drop everything that you are doing so he can have your undivided attention? Aren’t you sick of being last place in his eyes? Lost one, you are so much more than this life you are living. You deserve calls every day, all day if your heart desires that. You shouldn’t be depressed, in your bed surrounded by darkness while your friends are living their lives. You should be out living yours as well. LOST ONE…HE IS NOT WORTH IT. Why can’t you see this? What is blinding you so…Do you even know who you are? You have picked up on all of his bad habits including drinking and partying to forget about the predicament you have gotten yourself into. When he ignores you, you find refuge with other guys. He sometimes makes you feel so low, that you have to be with another guy to feel better about yourself. You are not you. You are different. You have hit a rock bottom but you still haven’t learned. It will take two more years of turmoil and insecurity for you to realize you have had enough. It will take finally realizing that if he had the chance he would leave you for the next girl that was “light-skinned” enough to meet his standards-oh yes he is a colorist too. One day you will see you are better than this.
Lost one, you are so beautiful. The faster you see this the better you will be. Don’t you know that you could be using your time more wisely instead of wasting it with a low life. You spent a whole year preoccupied with someone who has yet to give you the type of attention you devote to him. He is too selfish to have a girlfriend and to deal with a girl as strong, intelligent and positive as you. He sees that you have a lot going on and he is threatened. Walk away as fast as you can he is not for you but hold on tight God has something greater and better in store for you, just exercise patience.