health – LifestyleByKy

September 7, 2024August 31, 2024

Life Update: April 2024 Part 2

I started my physical therapy journey in March and I am consistently going twice a week. It is an investment in my health, wellbeing, and mobility and I am happy to do this. I have a really supportive Physical Therapy team that gives me autonomy but also supports me with my exercises and constantly encourages me. Can’t wait to see how far this journey will take me.

I haven’t been to church since Easter. After Easter service which I was in overflow, I had to walk down a bunch of stairs and I struggled. I was embarrassed because I was holding up everyone else who wanted to get down the stairs as well. This was alarming to me and I knew I needed a second opinion from another neurologist so I made plans to do just that. Going back to church after the stair situation this month meant I was intentional about being on time so I wouldn’t have to go to overflow again. If I am early, I would just be able to sit down stairs with everyone else. So I was on time. Being on time allowed me to get a perfect seat, enjoy all of worship and be comfortable throughout service. Unbeknownst to me the photographer caught me in the spirit worshipping which was so beautiful. I love worship, I feel so connected to God and can pour out my praise and adoration through the beautiful songs and lyrics.

Shadesha came over to drop off my birthday presents and it was the most thoughtful gift. She brought me gold jewelry which I love, a jewelry box, 10 books (I read 9 of them so she returned those) and flowers with a book case vase. Wow she just gets me. This made my day.

Black Maternal Health

April is Black Maternal Health awareness and I went to several events on this topic. Raising awareness about black maternal health is important because we are in a crisis. Black women /birthing people are disproportionately dying during child birth than any other race. Due to systemic racism, including how doctor’s are trained, there are many myths out there that lead to black birthing people to be ignored or mistreated within the medical system. For example, a myth that stems from slavery is that black people, especially black women can endure more pain than other races. This myth is prevalent enough that when a birthing person asks for epidural, or suggests they are in pain and need something to subside it, they are ignored and their pain is minimized. This behavior has led to the deaths of many black birthing individuals. At these events I learned the importance of advocacy and some helpful tips as well including:

Family planning does not have to begin when you get pregnant, research should begin before pregnancy.
Before getting pregnant or planning to get pregnant, ensure you are working towards a healthy and balanced lifestyle.
Educate yourself on the role of a doula vs. a mid-wife and ensure one or both of them are a part of your birthing plan.
Some of us are conditioned to not question authority, we believe the doctor is always right but that is not always the case, get a second or third opinion.
Advocate for yourself. Pain is not normal.
Keep a record of your health, your symptoms, the timing that symptoms appear, and other concerns to share with doctor. Also keep record of any questions you may have for your doctors.
It’s never too late to ask for epidural. Don’t let them tell you the time has passed.
Bring someone with you to doctor visits.
If you don’t understand something the doctor said, make them say it again even if it means using laymen terms.

To close out the month, I got my hair braided in long knotless braids. I didn’t want them that long but she gave it to me anyway without an additional charge, they came out really nice. The girl that does my braids is darn good. Following my hair appointment I went to this restaurant called Osteria Brooklyn. I’ve always wanted to go there. The restaurant is a charming and quaint Italian restaurant and I was inspired to go on a solo book date because the current book I am reading “This Could Be Us” by Kennedy Ryan has a main character that is dating herself before finding love again. I was inspired by this character and it was liberating to see this in a romance book, so I decided to do the same. Yes, I have a partner, but I am still an individual.

August 31, 2024August 31, 2024

Life Update: April 2024 Part 1

April 1st was the official marketing launch for The Pop-Up Care Shop. If you didn’t know, I am officially a co-founder of a non-profit organization called The Pop-Up Care Shop. We’ve existed as a charity since 2016 but made it official in 2023. After not having a shop since 2019 due to the pandemic we are gearing up for our first shop at Covenant House New York. When we set up shop, we create a boutique of donated clothes, shoes, accessories, and toiletries and allow the clients to shop until they drop, at no cost to them. We fundraise throughout the year and are always looking for volunteers. Visit thepopupcareshop.org to learn more.

Not going to lie, the first week of April was hella stressful for me. I had a really rough work week and my health was impacted. My blood pressure skyrocketed and I realized my lifestyle is not healthy. I am going to find all the ways in which I am cognizant not to get stressed at work because my health being compromised is not worth it. I started this year saying my health is my priority and I mean that. On another note, during the most stressful day of this particular week, I talked to my Career Coach who helped me put into perspective my options and really think about what support in this moment could look like for me.

At the end of my hell week was a light at the end of the tunnel, which was Chanel’s birthday dinner. Chanel is a new friend of mine that I met while doing community service. She was celebrating her 30th birthday hosted by her hubby and you can tell just by the vibes she cultivated at her dinner and the people she invited that she is an amazing human being. I also enjoyed seeing our friends that we share mutually. Overall, after a long week, being surrounded by community was just what I needed.

I joined an Emerging Leaders board for JASA a few months ago and attended a board meeting cocktail reception where I got to meet my other fellow emerging leaders board members. Initially I was nervous as I didn’t know what to expect but those nerves subsided immediately after meeting the group because they were all really cool. JASA is an organization that means a lot to me because it provides housing and food to senior citizens in New York. I am overjoyed to drive impact over the next two years through this board and can’t wait to see what we can accomplish together.

I attended the T. Howard Foundation dinner for work which is an amazing dinner celebrating the scholars coming out of the T.Howard program and internships and the amazing media organizations that support them. T. Howard Foundation is a mission-driven organization dedicated to increasing diversity in the media industry. It was awesome to catch up with my colleagues as well.

My grandmother stayed with me for a week to help me with Ginger since I had some late nights at work. It’s always such a treat when Ma stays with me for a few days, we go grocery shopping, we cook, we laugh and watch game shows. On this occasion, I took out some of my cook books and we looked through them to see if there were any interesting recipes that we could try. We found a bacon, tomato, and green beans recipe from the Jubilee: Recipes from Two Centuries of African American Cooking cook book. We also made lasagna and scallop potatoes. It was so good and I didn’t want Ma to leave but she said she would come back soon.

February 10, 2024February 26, 2024

January 2024 Part 1

I haven’t written on my blog in two years, so first I want to say hello! I saw someone drop a newsletter recently and it seemed like a really cool thing to do but it’s also similar to blogging so I am jumping back on the wagon.

Even though I didn’t feel it at the time, I needed to be optimistic about 2024. The last couple of years have been hard, filled with grief, rejection, and uncertainty. I was sick of living in those feelings and realized that I had the power to choose whether this behavior continued or not.

The New Year is one of my favorite holidays. It’s a time where we get to dress up in sequins and fur, drink champagne, and set goals. It’s so bougie and I love it. This new year, I spent it with my friend celebrating her 35th. We went to Public Hotel in the lower east side, where she rented out an igloo for the night. The best part of this experience was that she and her boyfriend cultivated a beautiful vibe. They went around the igloo and asked questions about our goals for the year, what habits are we keeping or leaving for the new year, and other really thought-provoking questions. The attendees were couples for the most part, some newly married, some married for twenty years. My boyfriend and I felt so good in that space and learned so much that night from everyone’s response. I didn’t realize until that moment how important it is to be around and learn from other couples. We are all just trying to make it work and while some people romanticize relationships, it’s hard work that need to be cultivated and fought for on a daily basis.

The next day, I went to Connecticut where I spent the first two weeks of January. Connecticut is not for me. It was cold, snowing, dreary, and contrary to my city girl lifestyle. By day 9 I cracked and desperately wanted to go home. Me and the suburbs never worked out to be honest. However, since there is not much to do, I did get a lot of personal things done, some of which I share below:

Primary Care Doctor Research: One of my top goals this year is my health. After loosing two family members to cancer, and watching their health decline, I believe it’s important to prioritize this. Previously, I was with a medical group that will remain nameless, but since they were acquired their care has declined. For years I had the most amazing Nurse Practitioner caring for me, who was technically trained to do similar care like a doctor and when she left, I was left with doctors who rushed me and could care less. One black woman doctor said (and I am paraphrasing), you may be looking for a black doctor but I am not it, I am not taking anymore patients. Her comment was jarring and made me feel uncomfortable, like I did something wrong. So I decided to leave the medical group and searched for a black woman doctor who would not rush me, who would listen to me, and go on a journey with me. Doctor research is not easy. It requires time and patience. As a black woman searching for a black doctor, you can’t filter doctors by their race on insurance websites, so there is a lot of copying names from your insurance in-network options to google. I also like doing this because I can read reviews and the experiences of other patients. I like to focus on all reviews but I am always sure to check out the bad ones which unfortunately can be accurate. For some doctors, if their staff/receptionist are poor then the reviews will negatively impact them. Essentially, I created a list of doctors and ordered them in priority of who I liked most. Then called some of them to see who could get me in soon. Most doctors are booked honey. I had one doctor’s office tell me their next appointment was December 2024, I had to ask the receptionist again, did I understand that correctly? But with some prayer, I was able to get a doctors appointment in late February for a new doctor and I am very excited about this.

Therapist Research: Similar to doctor’s research therapist research is a similar process. I search who is in-network and then I google them. However, I also have two secret weapons as resources in this search which is Psychology Today and Therapy for Black Girls. These sites let you filter based on insurance, location, virtual or in-person needs, religion, focus areas, and race. While the search for a new therapist is still ongoing for me (I have so many options and I am having a hard time choosing), my next step would be a consultation with the therapist to learn more and to see if they are a fit. I am hoping to complete this before Q1 is over.

Career Coaching: I’ve been noodling on Career Coaching for a while now and since I had time to kill in Connecticut, I did a consultation for it. During the last 5 years, I’ve worked at 3 of the top media companies but my title has remained the same. How can I work so hard and give so much to what I do, with the same title? Something ain’t right, and through career coaching I am ensuring that something is not me. I already know it’s not me but still want to do my due diligence. With career coaching, I want to position myself for the next level and I am excited to begin this journey and invest in myself because no-one else will. If you are searching for a career coach, check out who I am using for career coaching services: https://www.jesswass.com/.

February 2, 2015January 7, 2020

Relationship Weight

I tried on a pair of jeans that used to be big for me in the summer. They’re boyfriend jeans, which tend to be baggy. I got the jeans on one leg, and then the other but pulling them past my thighs was a problem. They no longer fit me! I gained weight. My friend coined it relationship weight. Sometimes when you embark on a new relationship, you gain unnecessary weight and I have all the signs and symptoms of getting too comfortable and picking up unhealthy eating habits.

Sign #1-I canceled my Gym Membership

Relationship or not, I would’ve canceled my gym membership because I don’t particularly like going to the gym in the winter; I don’t like it when the brisk air hits you while walking out of the gym all hot and sweaty, it’s a terrible mixture of temperatures. I would much rather be cuddled up in my blanket watching reruns of “Living Single.” However, I do spend a lot more time with my significant other, which takes away from the time I could be at a gym so there you have it, faux pas number one.

Sign #2-Date More. Eat More.

It seems like when you’re in a relationship all you guys do is eat. You go on dates and eat, you spend the night in and eat. I’ve never eaten so much take-out in my life.

Sign #3 Comfort & Compliments

The compliments from my boyfriend are endless, and no I don’t get tired of them. His acknowledgment of my beauty makes me feel great but I’ve gotten too comfortable. He may “love me the way I am” but it’s never a good idea to lose self-control because of the validation you are getting from someone else.

The first step is acknowledging that I have a problem. I came to this conclusion last week when I ate 3-cartons of Ben and Jerry Red Velvet Ice Cream without a care in the world. I am losing self-control and I know it, but I will bounce back. Being healthy is so important, and I have to find ways to remain healthy while in a relationship or else…