January 2024 Part 1

I haven’t written on my blog in two years, so first I want to say hello! I saw someone drop a newsletter recently and it seemed like a really cool thing to do but it’s also similar to blogging so I am jumping back on the wagon.

Even though I didn’t feel it at the time, I needed to be optimistic about 2024. The last couple of years have been hard, filled with grief, rejection, and uncertainty. I was sick of living in those feelings and realized that I had the power to choose whether this behavior continued or not. 

The New Year is one of my favorite holidays. It’s a time where we get to dress up in sequins and fur, drink champagne, and set goals. It’s so bougie and I love it. This new year, I spent it with my friend celebrating her 35th. We went to Public Hotel in the lower east side, where she rented out an igloo for the night. The best part of this experience was that she and her boyfriend cultivated a beautiful vibe. They went around the igloo and asked questions about our goals for the year, what habits are we keeping or leaving for the new year, and other really thought-provoking questions. The attendees were couples for the most part, some newly married, some married for twenty years. My boyfriend and I felt so good in that space and learned so much that night from everyone’s response. I didn’t realize until that moment how important it is to be around and learn from other couples. We are all just trying to make it work and while some people romanticize relationships, it’s hard work that need to be cultivated and fought for on a daily basis. 

The next day, I went to Connecticut where I spent the first two weeks of January. Connecticut is not for me. It was cold, snowing, dreary, and contrary to my city girl lifestyle. By day 9 I cracked and desperately wanted to go home. Me and the suburbs never worked out to be honest. However, since there is not much to do, I did get a lot of personal things done, some of which I share below:

1. Primary Care Doctor Research: One of my top goals this year is my health. After loosing two family members to cancer, and watching their health decline, I believe it’s important to prioritize this. Previously, I was with a medical group that will remain nameless, but since they were acquired their care has declined. For years I had the most amazing Nurse Practitioner caring for me, who was technically trained to do similar care like a doctor and when she left, I was left with doctors who rushed me and could care less. One black woman doctor said (and I am paraphrasing), you may be looking for a black doctor but I am not it, I am not taking anymore patients. Her comment was jarring and made me feel uncomfortable, like I did something wrong. So I decided to leave the medical group and searched for a black woman doctor who would not rush me, who would listen to me, and go on a journey with me. Doctor research is not easy. It requires time and patience. As a black woman searching for a black doctor, you can’t filter doctors by their race on insurance websites, so there is a lot of copying names from your insurance in-network options to google. I also like doing this because I can read reviews and the experiences of other patients. I like to focus on all reviews but I am always sure to check out the bad ones which unfortunately can be accurate. For some doctors, if their staff/receptionist are poor then the reviews will negatively impact them. Essentially, I created a list of doctors and ordered them in priority of who I liked most. Then called some of them to see who could get me in soon. Most doctors are booked honey. I had one doctor’s office tell me their next appointment was December 2024, I had to ask the receptionist again, did I understand that correctly? But with some prayer, I was able to get a doctors appointment in late February for a new doctor and I am very excited about this.

2. Therapist Research: Similar to doctor’s research therapist research is a similar process. I search who is in-network and then I google them. However, I also have two secret weapons as resources in this search which is Psychology Today and Therapy for Black Girls. These sites let you filter based on insurance, location, virtual or in-person needs, religion, focus areas, and race. While the search for a new therapist is still ongoing for me (I have so many options and I am having a hard time choosing), my next step would be a consultation with the therapist to learn more and to see if they are a fit. I am hoping to complete this before Q1 is over. 

3. Career Coaching: I’ve been noodling on Career Coaching for a while now and since I had time to kill in Connecticut, I did a consultation for it. During the last 5 years, I’ve worked at 3 of the top media companies but my title has remained the same. How can I work so hard and give so much to what I do, with the same title? Something ain’t right, and through career coaching I am ensuring that something is not me. I already know it’s not me but still want to do my due diligence. With career coaching, I want to position myself for the next level and I am excited to begin this journey and invest in myself because no-one else will. If you are searching for a career coach, check out who I am using for career coaching services: https://www.jesswass.com/.