Simple Relationship Advice

You’re Worthy.

As a girl-friend (not girlfriend), the week of Valentines Day is always rough. Valentines Day is a troublemaker when you’re in a relationship or in a situationship because men either don’t pick up on the clues or don’t acknowledge you or the day at all and either situation is problematic to a woman. As much as we say we don’t like Valentines Day (I am not included in this narrative), some women still want to be acknowledged and appreciated. Some women want to know that they are worthy. Some women want to know they are not giving their all without something in return. I think the general consensus is being acknowledged on valentines day doesn’t have to equate a big elaborate gift. It can be as simple as a rose, a poem, a box of candy, or a thoughtful card. Yet, this goes over a lot of guy’s head and they might send a text (and that’s it) or act like the day never happened and call you the next day like “What’s up?” :/

So, as you can imagine there were a lot of fires that I needed to put out that weekend following the big V. It’s important that my friends, other women, and even myself know that we are worthy. What does being worthy mean? It means that as an individual you are an amazing person that deserves everything your heart desires. You deserve the recognition and the acknowledgement that you want and if you’re not getting it then you have to make some adjustments in your life.

Valentines day also helps to put a lot of relationships into perspective. Needless to say I received a lot of calls from fed up friends who were ready to just let it all go and move on from a relationship. My only advice there is Make sure you clean out your closet before jumping into another relationship.

What that means is check yourself. Sometimes we have the tendency to jump in relationships and make the same mistakes with the next guy because there’s something within us, maybe insecurity or a soul tie, maybe we haven’t dealt with past hurts or rejection that we don’t want to resonate. Cleaning house means taking the time after a relationship ends to work on you and build a stronger relationship with God. It means directing your focus away from someone else and giving it all to yourself and what makes you happy; building yourself up so you can be a better person and girlfriend or wife (since that’s the goal for most women) the next time around.

A Mother’s Love

I am one of those people who love, love. Since I could remember, I’ve been a sucker for love. Maybe it was the Disney movies, or maybe it’s a gift God birthed me with, but I couldn’t wait to be in love. Growing up, I was the girl that everyone liked, but I wasn’t “that girl” that all the guys were drooling over. I was quirky, a little awkward and quite different-which meant Valentines Day for me until age 15 was in existent.

Each year that would pass by leaving me without a valentine made me feel a bit empty. Can you imagine, even as a child I had these feelings of inadequacy. My mom eventually discovered this and surprised me every valentine’s day since I could remember with a gift. One year it was chocolates and Hello Kitty Pajamas (I still wear the Pajamas) another year it was a beautiful pink robe. She instilled in me that even if no one else acknowledged their love for me she loved me. I didn’t understand the value of this when I was younger. I just thought I was a loser who didn’t have a secret admirer but now I get it and I love her for it.

Happy Valentines Day!

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