Adulting in October

Adulting is hard and October was a major month for putting my big girl pants on and making major decisions for myself. After working for 10-months straight and not taking any vacation, I scheduled a day to visit multiple doctors and check in on my health. This wasn’t my own doing; my boyfriend pushed me to do so. It was a reality check to see that he prioritized my health and wellbeing more than I did for myself. After visiting my doctors, I felt accomplished. I felt like I finally did something for me, self-care at its best. So to everyone out there reading this, do something for you that your body, mind, and/or spirit will thank you for later.

Back in August, I was rejected for an apartment in my current building after being on the waitlist for three years. That rejection stayed with me, because I had my heart set on being on my own. One Friday, I decided to look again. Not with the intention of moving, just to see what was out there. I discovered an apartment complex named the PLG. The PLG has amazing amenities including an indoor and outdoor swimming pool, sauna, meeting room, dog park, basketball court and more. I had chills thinking about how amazing it would be to live in an apartment building like that. However, when I went on the tour, after discovering what the rent would be, I was indifferent. On a scale of 1-10, the building should’ve been a 10, but it was a 6.8-7. I took points off because while it had everything it said it did, none of the amenities were actually open, due to the pandemic and the elevator broke down while I was there. Also the apartment was really small and there were a lot of visitors there, just walking around looking at the amenities (probably family or friends of tenants). It just felt like a over-priced college dorm and while it was nice, it wasn’t worth the rent they were trying to charge, no matter how many amenities they offer. The next day I went to another apartment close to where I live now and it was so depressing. I can’t believe what real estate agents are marketing as apartments. The insidiousness of gentrification is real and it was a wakeup call for me as I thought about senior citizens and vulnerable populations of color; how are they supposed to survive in this market? This apartment had visible water bugs and I am sure mice. It was the size of a closet and there was no living room. The bedroom was a shoebox. The cost was over $2,000. To make matters worse, my mom and the real estate guy got into an argument, I was defeated. I knew the next day I had another apartment to view but I couldn’t get out of my funk. Would I ever be on my own? Would I ever find my apartment?

The next day was a rainy day, but I made my way to view this final apartment. The videos of it was nice but I was still guarded. The real-estate agent took me to the first apartment she had available, which had a big living room but a small bedroom and I did not like it. So she took me to another apartment with a big bedroom but a small living room and I absolutely was in love. To make a long story less long, I signed the lease the following week and will be moving in soon. I am officially on my own, and I cannot wait. The driving force to making the very scary decision of living on my own was the following pillars:

  • Independence
  • Control
  • Boundaries
  • Peace

These 4 pillars are important for me as I embark further into my adulting journey. Thanks to my many friends who coached me through this process, including Kadia who came up with these pillars with me, I am officially on my own. Now I am working on buying furniture, turning my new apartment into a home, and possibly hosting Christmas there.

Due to the fact that I’ve been working like a crazy person and personally trying to move, I haven’t had any time to watch TV. I did watch one movie twice because I thought it was cute called Love Jacked on Netflix. I didn’t finish any books this month, although I started Love Craft Country by Matt Ruff and I am still trying to read Coffee Will Make You Black by April Sinclair. I really don’t like Coffee Will Make You Black, but I am committed to reading all books before starting new ones.

My hair journey is going good and my hair cut is growing back but I kind of like it short. My skin journey is not going good but it will turn around because I found a black dermatologist, and she has me on a regimen. I did not celebrate Halloween this year but it was nice to see everyone’s costumes. This is a weird year. FOMO is something I am comfortable with because while I want to be social, I know how important it is to social distance during a pandemic. I discovered a really delicious Neapolitan Ice Cream by the brand Avenue A and Mango Sorbet from Trader Joes is the best thing since sliced bread. Check it out if you’re looking for a quick treat.

Until next month…

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