Protect Your Destiny

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Were you offended by his question? My friend asked me this one Friday evening while we were catching up. Just to give you some backstory, a few weeks prior, I went out with a group of my friends to a cool spot in Bedstuy called  Lover’s Rock, which gives off all types of Love Jones vibes.

We didn’t see each other for a while so we sat around our table and caught up. The friend that was doing all of the questioning, asked me “So what are you doing, career wise? What are your next steps…?” That’s when the conversation got awkward. If you know anything about me, I am not one to talk about everything that I am doing. I’m also not one to count my chickens before they hatch. So was it so bad when I said “Sorry I can’t share with you…”
This response piqued his interest further because he continued to pry. I held on tightly to my original sentiments…”No!”
 Maybe it came off weird to everyone at the table. Maybe you’re also thinking what’s the big deal? But sometimes when you are dealing with something as huge and significant as your destiny and what you’re going to do with the rest of your life it has to remain between you and God until the time is right. I could’ve created an elaborate story of dreams and goals and everything my “inner” heart desired for conversation sake, but what  good would that do? I’m in a season of transition, so it’s vital for me to be still and wait on God. Therefore, until the changes God has for me are revealed, I can’t be rambling to every and anyone about my plans because some people, even the ones that are closest to you may not understand and quite frankly, it’s not meant for them to. As Sarah Jakes said “Your destiny is not a democracy.”
I say this all to say, protect your destiny. Everyone doesn’t have the right to know what’s between you and God because it’s between you and God. Your destiny is not up for conversation or discussion. Be still and let God direct your life because he will reveal the perfect time for you to shine and give you peace in your heart for the people you should actually reveal these revelations to.

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Self-Love vs. Selfish

(Podcast)

I’ve been thinking about this idea of Self-Love. Society constantly tells us we must love ourselves. So I went on a quest to do just that a few years ago. However, this year, I am finding that there’s a thin line between loving yourself and being selfish. When I am juggling all the things that I am doing on a day-to-day basis, it’s hard to make time to check on others. I want to work on this more in 2016. I want to learn to find a balance in my life and among the people I care about. I feel like when we get so goal oriented, we forget that there’s people in the world who need a simple “Hello” just to know that we care.

Since it was easier for me to talk about this topic rather than type it out, I created a podcast for it. You can click the link below to hear it. The link will take you to my podcast page, feel free to follow it as well. Also forgive my sniffles I’m a little under the weather:

https://soundcloud.com/lifestylebyky/self-love-v-selfiishness

 

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Summer Summer Summer Time!

There is something about summers in New York. I can’t explain the feeling but it’s just liberating. Each year, there has been some kind of life lesson or personal growth that took place in my life during the summer months. I am inspired to become a better version of me for the latter part of the year and give life my best foot forward. One of the things I enjoy doing and have been doing every year since I graduated is create a list of things that I want to do over the summer. It could be something dealing with the arts, maybe a new exhibit, possibly write more, wear my hair natural, whatever it might be I always try to hold myself accountable for my goals.

2011

When I first graduated from Penn State in 2011, I was lost. I didn’t have the slightest clue where I was going to work in the fall, I had no money and no insight into my future, but those things did not take the fun out of my life. I was shockingly content with finding myself. I let go and let God take control and I allowed myself to live a little. Just getting out of a bad pseudo-relationship, I spent the summer rebuilding my self-esteem, writing, and on youtube learning everything there was to know about the big chop and being natural(It would take 2-years before I actually wore my hair natural). I even started an earrings business.

DSC02218_2 Continue reading “Summer Summer Summer Time!”

How to Plan a Vision Board Party

IMG_9869So you want to plan a vision board party. Well, as someone who just hosted a very successful one, I’ll explain how. It’s rather simple and it was an idea that came about randomly. I knew it wouldn’t take much thought to put together and it would be a fun excuse to bring close friends together for an afternoon of fellowship and fun.

Google Docs

I am going to start this post off with a tip. Google Docs is the best. I used google docs to plan out my party and create a contact list for attendees.

Invite list

Unless you have the space, its important not to invite too many people since this is a huge arts and crafts task that requires time and space. Also since a vision board party outlines someone’s inner most desires for their present and future be mindful of who you invite and make sure everyone is encouraging to one another.

Invitation

Figure out a date, time and location. I sent all my invites via e-vite. I found a cute template and the rest was history. Most importantly, my invitations didn’t cost a dime and I was able to keep track of who viewed the invitation and rsvps.

The invite encouraged people to answer the following questions:

  1. What is my vision for my life?
  2. What are my dreams?
  3. What do I need to do to achieve my dreams?
  4. How much of my past is shaping the way I think and what I do? Is it effecting my present and future?

I also encouraged people to bring their own magazines. Continue reading “How to Plan a Vision Board Party”

Virtualization

One of my New Year resolutions is virtualization. This idea that if I can see it, I can hear it. I can touch it. I can taste it. I can smell it. Then its mine.

Sometimes I fall victim to small mindedness. I’ve reduced my dreams like so many adults to something of an average lifestyle which is unacceptable. We should all strive for greatness. There were people, especially our ancestors that came before us who paved the way so that we could be great. Take Mary McLeod Bethune-she created a multi-million dollar institution/university for African American students denied the right to an education by main stream colleges; she was the advisor to presidents of the United States and she fought for civil rights. She did all of this with just $1.50 and 6 students in her first class. If she could do it with $1.50 why can’t we do it with all the resources we have today?

Therefore:

  • I see growth in my spirituality
  • I see service to others
  • I see Homeownership
  • I see my beautiful car
  • I see a higher degree
  • I see no more student loan debt
  • I see a strong marriage and children
  • I see happiness and immense love
  • I see a career that I love
  • I see travel to countries all over the world.

I declare all of this in the name of God, it will happen with faith and vision in his time and not mine.

You should try it too!

Peace. Love & Let God.

As the holiday season is among us, I am reminded of the immense work that God has done in my life. Unfortunately, by the people around me who are doing reflections of their year and overall life and feel like it’s not enough; They are not doing enough; they are not fulfilling a purpose; My heart is heavy as I hear their pleas of inadequacy, searching for the right words to calm their discontented spirits.

In November 2013, I was in the same predicament. I had no peace in my life nor in my heart. I wanted more. I worried about the past, the present and the future. I had very little hope that change would come. I found myself in Barnes and Nobles one Sunday morning, wanting so desperately for my life to change. I spent the whole day reading books. Books about travel, books about pursuing a higher degree, books about writing my own book and books about relationships and wedding planning. What exactly did I want out of my life? All of these things. The question was, how to take the first steps towards attaining my inner most desires? I found that the answer was in humility. My number one issue was that I was not happy with my present. I felt stuck. I didn’t feel like I was progressing as fast enough as my peers. I hate to admit it now, because I always consider myself my own competition, but I was looking at others and comparing their success to my own, which is the worst thing to do. I didn’t feel like I was growing professionally, I felt more than competent to take on more responsibility at work but didn’t see an avenue to pursue this growth. I’d never traveled beyond the Caribbean and I wanted to see the world so bad, I didn’t have my own apartment nor did I have a car (which was a personal choice) but hey it could’ve been nice, and I was single and hadn’t been in a substantial relationships since I was in my late teens. Humility came with acknowledging that I was more than capable of having everything my heart desired simply by putting my life in God’s hands wholeheartedly. I wouldn’t complain about my job, I would thank God for it. I wouldn’t pout when hopping into a friend’s new car I would thank God for their blessings. I shut my mouth and continued to pursue excellence in all aspects of my life even though I didn’t see nor did I fathom the plans and the ways God would shake up my life in 2014. I found peace, not only in my present but in my future. My security in God grew stronger and I learned how to truly forgive. Forgive my past, forgive those who said something to me or did something to me that did not align with how God defined me, now all that was left to do was watch God’s plans unfold and it did.

After getting baptized in January and declaring publicly that the lord was my savior, I soon booked a trip to Europe that changed my life. I planned my first event for my organization Reserved that turned out to be a success. I went to a seminar that taught me how to write and publish my own book. I then went on to travel through Europe and all the cities I only dreamed of seeing. It changed my life and showed me that all things were possible through God. I came back from Europe only to discover that I was getting a raise and a bonus at work…what? I wasn’t expecting both. I completely bounced back financially over night, it was as if I never took money out of my bank account to pay for Europe-all was covered. I started dedicating my Tuesday nights to prayer meeting at my church. The thing that I enjoyed about prayer meeting was that it taught me how to be selfless. We didn’t spend 2-hours praying for ourselves and our own problems, we prayed for others. We prayed for those individuals living in rural Asia, India and Haiti or the forgotten Native Americans suffering from alcoholism and poverty on reservations. We prayed for women caught up in human trafficking and for people whose family members were suffering from cancer, mental illness and other serious ailments. I learned that the world didn’t revolve around me, I learned to pray and I learned to worship. I even began listening to gospel music-Alpha and Omega by Israel Houghton is my favorite song ever. Eventually things began to look up for me.

I began to take the idea of going back to school seriously. What I would go to school for was still a mystery but I knew I was beginning to love business and entrepreneurship and I always wanted to be a writer and write for a magazine.

I stopped partying as much, matter fact I didn’t party at all, yet one day I decided to go to an event called “The Greatest Day Ever” and met my boyfriend. Turns out he’s so gentle, giving, and intelligent, a little bit CRAY-CRAY, very introverted but overall a great person and I am happy he’s in my life. I soon realized in order to pursue a new relationship I would need to make sure my closet was completely cleaned and all skeletons were gone. I co-hosted a sister circle with some of my closest friends. We spent the whole day forgiving; forgiving our past, confronting skeletons that were holding us back and praying for one another. We wrote our insecurities on an index card and released it out of our souls. It was one of the highlights of my year. All was forgiven.

Later on in the year I began to plan to go to South Africa. Africa, was just a mere dream of mine and it was just about to become a reality when my manager left the company and I was promoted into her position. Promotion comes from God, and that had God’s promise written all over it. Now, I am sitting in my bed pretty much typing my year in review anticipating my conclusion so I can thank God for his blessings. But before I do that, I want to share the inspiration for this post. I was listening to a sermon today by my Pastor Cymbala and he preached about peace and the four types of peace we need to have in our lives and in this New Year:

  • Peace with God (When you have peace with God, there’s an understanding that you’re covered. Humble yourself)
  • Peace that covers our past (Letting go of the recriminations and sorrowful memories that might be holding you back. It is what it is; you can’t change your past all you can do is forgive yourself and others)
  • Peace that covers the present (Letting go of those feelings of inadequacy and desires of not having what you want at a certain age or not being where you want to be. Be content in what you are blessed with but continue to pursue your goals.)
  • Peace that covers the future (being secure in that all things work together for the greater good)

In life there are ups and downs, highs and lows, good days and bad days. But one of the things God has shown me this year is that he has a plan for each and every one of our lives and there is no coincidence that we are where we currently are. The present, no matter how monotonous it might be is preparing us for our future and our past cannot be changed so let go of the baggage. God has mapped out our life from when we take our first breath to when we take our last and we have to be secure in knowing he knows what’s best for us and he will provide beyond our inner most desires. He will unleash dreams we never imagined could unfold in our lives. So get ready.

Peace, Love and Happy Holidays!

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