Tag: love

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Feeding the Soul

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The other day at my Weight Watchers meeting, Toni, our leader, stressed the importance of finding things that you love and doing it. Based on our feedback, she created a list of things that we love to do or would like to do to have “Me Time.” The idea here is to use these ventures as a substitute for eating. See below some of the things we came up with:

  1. Painting
  2. Church
  3. Mani/Pedi
  4. Volunteering
  5. Exercising/Going to the gym
  6. Taking a new Class (Cooking/Language/Sewing/Knitting)
  7. Writing
  8. House Work/House Décor/Pinterest
  9. Bubble Bath/Shower
  10. Museums

A lot of revelations came out of this meeting. For one, if you know me then you know that I don’t have a problem with finding “Me Time” but more on that later. What was surprising to me was how many people in that room thought personal time for themselves or a creative outlet was foreign or something they could not fit into their schedules. That’s terrible!

There are so many people on this earth that are not living, they’re just existing. They go through the motions of life without taking the time to look up and see the beautiful, colorful, and multifaceted world that God created. They go to work, come home, deal with whatever they have going on at home, and do it all over again the next day. To be honest, a few years ago this person was me! I just focused on my job. I had no other goals and ambitions and did not even think about a purpose for my life as yet. I know how miserable that life is because you’re doing nothing to make an impact for yourself or others, you’re just there, existing.

Maybe I do these things too much, I thought.

While at the meeting, I questioned if I had a problem because I didn’t need someone to tell me the importance of finding creative outlets to just do what I love, I try to do something I love every single day, whether it’s writing, painting, reading, or going to museums, it’s definitely in my schedule because my soul craves it. Soul Food, or food for the soul, is the single most important thing you can do to bring happiness and fulfillment into your life. Tapping into what you always wanted to do and just doing it, no matter how good or bad you think you are at it, is such a beautiful thing and adds character to your personality and your life. Who knows you might even find your purpose in this. Matter of fact, I am sure you will find your purpose in just doing what you love.

Some people might think whatever you’re doing is a waste of time but that’s because they don’t get it. The first line of Ecclesiastics in the bible says “everything is meaningless,” and when you think about it, it really is. Life is so temporary, we are here one minute and gone the next and nothing you do, not that degree, that job, that house, or that savings account, can come with you. Why not make the best of life while on earth? Feed your soul with travel, feed your soul with time with loved ones, feed your soul with experiences, feed your soul with activities, feed your soul with all of the things you love to do because it needs it.

 

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Listen to Your Heart

Love yourself enough to know when its time to walk away…

I know a woman who wanted to be in a relationship. The pressure from those around her was getting too deep. Friends questioned why she was still single and why she didn’t give dating a chance. Their judgment pierced her heart. She didn’t let them know, but it hurt. She felt perfectly fine discovering who she was spiritually, mentally, and professionally. She was making great strides in her life and she took pride in working her way up the success ladder. But all of that didn’t matter to them because she didn’t have a man to validate her.

One day, when she least expected it she met a guy. He saw her in the midst of a sea of women and wanted her. She was flattered. He wasn’t the type of guy she normally went for, but she was open-minded and his persistence was admirable. Turns out, he was exactly who she was looking for. He was educated, ambitious, and he understood her. It took a certain type of man to understand the type of woman she was but he did. Within a few months of talking, they knew a relationship was the next step and made it official. She was on cloud nine. Could this be her husband? Things were great until things weren’t great.

This relationship became a problem when she realized that he struggled with a problem. She went to his house one evening and his overzealousness was an indication that he had been drinking. Continue reading “Listen to Your Heart”

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Fighting Culture Among Girls&Women…Why?

I’ve never been a fighter. The one time I was probably supposed to fight a girl for trying to “steal my man” I didn’t have the heart to. What was the point? To hurt her? I didn’t want to hurt anyone. Sometimes I would ask God why he made me like this? Passive, never wanting to entertain trouble. People assumed it was a weakness but I look at it as having a big heart. People assumed I was letting others take advantage of me, but it was more about being a nice person. Growing up in Brooklyn, this was one of the many nuances in my personality that made me feel different from others. As a Brooklyn girl you have to be tough, right? Well, I was never like that. I would rather be friends with you than fight you. However, there are so many people, so many young girls to be exact. who feel the opposite.

In order to gain respect, you have to fight and be the champ. For some reason, a lot of girls and guys hold girl fights in such high esteem. I will never forget when I was peer pressured to go to the projects and fight a group of girls to defend one of my friends. I brought a bottle of Clorox to defend myself; otherwise, I would’ve been done for. God was with me that day because the girls never showed up. I vowed never to put myself in such danger again, all in the name of fitting in or proving something to these so-called “friends.” Continue reading “Fighting Culture Among Girls&Women…Why?”

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Lost Sheep

Suppose one of you has a hundred sheep and loses one of them. Doesn’t he leave the ninety-nine in the open country and go after the lost sheep until he finds it? And when he finds it, he joyfully puts it on his shoulders and goes home. Then he calls his friends and neighbors together and says, ‘Rejoice with me; I have found my lost sheep.’ I tell you that in the same way there will be more rejoicing in heaven over one sinner who repents than over ninety-nine righteous persons who do not need to repent. -Luke 15:1-7

Lost sheep. I was the lost sheep that Jesus talks about in the parable. I remember the very day when I wanted to be redeemed. I’ll have to save some of the details for when I eventually write my book (total plug), but I was in my bed at Penn State University. My “boy-friend” at the time just left after a weekend of total sin. He wasn’t really my boyfriend but we were together for two years. He strung me along and claimed he wasn’t ready for a relationship. In all actuality he was ready for a relationship, he just wasn’t ready for one with me. My soul was spent. I felt dirty. I felt like I was sleeping with a demon. I felt low, unworthy, soiled, and disgusting. I can’t describe the feeling but I had the weight of sin all over me. I cried from day to night. I felt so alone in that empty room in Pennsylvania. The feeling was indescribable. I called on God. Help me, lord. Get me out of this situation. Get the pain that I am feeling in my heart and chest out. Make me whole again. Nothing changed, I felt the same. I eventually went in the shower to try and wash off all remnants of him. I was with a man who wouldn’t even give me a title, yet I just spent the weekend giving him all of me. I would do anything for him. I was like the girl in Coming to America, who barked on Prince Zamunda’s command. If I noticed he was going to the strip club too often, I turned into the stripper. When he demeaned me, I tried to change myself so I could be more acceptable in his eyes. Every day that we spent not in a relationship but doing relationship things weighed on my confidence. I knew I deserved someone to respect me enough to claim me but I couldn’t break the shackles of this soul tie. It was a strong soul tie indeed. Continue reading “Lost Sheep”

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A Mother’s Love

I am one of those people who love, love. Since I could remember, I’ve been a sucker for love. Maybe it was the Disney movies, or maybe it’s a gift God birthed me with, but I couldn’t wait to be in love. Growing up, I was the girl that everyone liked, but I wasn’t “that girl” that all the guys were drooling over. I was quirky, a little awkward and quite different-which meant Valentine’s Day for me until age 15 was inexistent.

Each year that would pass by leaving me without a valentine made me feel a bit empty. Can you imagine, even as a child I had these feelings of inadequacy? My mom eventually discovered this and surprised me every valentine’s day since I could remember with a gift. One year it was chocolates and Hello Kitty Pajamas (I still wear the Pajamas) another year it was a beautiful pink robe. She instilled in me that even if no one else acknowledged their love for me she loved me. I didn’t understand the value of this when I was younger. I just thought I was a loser who didn’t have a secret admirer but now I get it and I love her for it.

Happy Valentines Day!

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How to Plan a Vision Board Party

IMG_9869So you want to plan a vision board party? Well, as someone who just hosted a very successful one, I’ll explain how. It’s rather simple and it was an idea that came about randomly. I knew it wouldn’t take much thought to put together and it would be a fun excuse to bring close friends together for an afternoon of fellowship and fun.

Google Docs

I am going to start this post off with a tip. Google Docs is the best. I used google docs to plan out my party and create a contact list for attendees.

Invite list

Unless you have the space, its important not to invite too many people since this is a huge arts and crafts task that requires time and space. Also since a vision board party outlines someone’s innermost desires for their present and future be mindful of who you invite and make sure everyone is encouraging to one another.

Invitation

Figure out a date, time and location. I sent all my invites via e-vite. I found a cute template and the rest was history. Most importantly, my invitations didn’t cost a dime and I was able to keep track of who viewed the invitation and RSVPs.

The invite encouraged people to answer the following questions:

  1. What is my vision for my life?
  2. What are my dreams?
  3. What do I need to do to achieve my dreams?
  4. How much of my past is shaping the way I think and what I do? Is it affecting my present and future?

I also encouraged people to bring their own magazines. Continue reading “How to Plan a Vision Board Party”

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Motown The Musical

To be honest, I didn’t know what to expect from Motown the Musical. In life I’ve learned the least you expect the more you gain and as a result, I really enjoyed this broadway show. It was one of the best shows I have ever seen and I would recommend it to anyone.

Here are 10 Things I loved about Motown the Musical:

1. The History: One of the things I enjoyed about Motown the Musical was the incorporation of historical events from the 60s and 70s including President John F. Kennedy’s death, segregation in the south, race riots/protests, the Vietnam War and the death of MLK. These were just a few of the incidents during that time that shook the nation, black and white to their core and I believe it was very significant to incorporate these events into the play. It added a lot of perspectives and illustrated the magnitude of building a powerhouse such as Motown in the midst of such chaos in America and around the world.

Picture from the NEW YORK TIMES
Photo Cred: NY Times

2. The Storyline: The storyline was from the perspective of music mogul Berry Gordy. Like many 20-something-year-olds, Berry Gordy had a dream and he watched his dream come to fruition. He created Motown, one of the most successful record labels in history. But this label was not invincible and had its highs and lows. Berry Gordy built the careers of world-renowned stars including Diana Ross and The Supremes, The Temptations, Jackson 5 and Marvin Gaye just to name a few. However, a lot of his precious artists quickly left him for more money with the bigger record labels like RCA. It was inspiring to see how loyal Smokey Robinson was through it all. I had no idea they were best friends prior to the musical. I learned so much about how hard it really is to create something from the ground up. My eyes were glued from the beginning to the end.

3. The Costumes:  I was amazed by the costuming in this play. I even googled to cross-check the accuracy of these costumes and they were spot on. The colors were bright and aligned greatly with what each of these stars wore during that time. Amazing! 041613-motown-the-musical-623-1 4. The Engagement:  When the actress, Valisia LeKae, playing Diana Ross sang Reach Out and Touch she actually forced everyone in the audience to hold one another’s hand and sway from side to side. She even called audience members to come on stage and sing with her. It was so engaging.

5. The Acting: I enjoyed the acting. The actors and actresses were believable. Berry Gordy’s character was charming and passionate. Diana Ross’ character had sass. Little Michael Jackson gave me chills.

6. The Music: Oh, the music of those times was beautiful. Motown music was made out of love and passion. We all know love never goes out of style. The singers of the Motown Era were one of a kind.

supremes7. My Seats: My seats were orchestra level smack dab in the center. It was perfect!

8. The Enchantment:  I really felt like I was there. I felt like I took a trip back in time to the ’60s and I was so enchanted.

9. Sing-A-Long: I knew all the songs and it felt good to be able to sing-a-long without being looked at like I was insane. There were others who knew more than me-which was to be expected as Motown is way before my time. It’s amazing how relevant Motown still is today.Motown1Wide 10. It’s Legacy: The legacy of Motown is undisputed. Motown has captured the hearts of generations and generations to come. I had no idea that Tina Marie, Rick James, and The Commodores were a product of Motown. They were huge in their day. I also didn’t know songs like “My Guy” was a Motown creation. I became enlightened during the show and it illustrated to me just how much of an impact Motown had and continues to have. It’s a household name. Berry Gordy may not have felt appreciated but he is a musical genius and his legacy will live on forever. 5.186209

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Peace. Love & Let God.

As the holiday season is among us, I am reminded of the immense work that God has done in my life. Unfortunately, by the people around me who are doing reflections of their year and overall life and feel like it’s not enough; they are not doing enough; they are not fulfilling a purpose; My heart is heavy as I hear their pleas of inadequacy, searching for the right words to calm their discontented spirits.

In November 2013, I was in the same predicament. I had no peace in my life nor in my heart. I wanted more. I worried about the past, the present and the future. I had very little hope that change would come. I found myself in Barnes and Noble one Sunday morning, wanting so desperately for my life to change. I spent the whole day reading books. Books about travel, books about pursuing a higher degree, books about writing my own book and books about relationships and wedding planning. What exactly did I want out of my life? All of these things. The question was, how to take the first steps towards attaining my innermost desires? I found that the answer was in humility. My number one issue was that I was not happy with my present. I felt stuck. I didn’t feel like I was progressing as fast enough as my peers. I hate to admit it now because I always consider myself my own competition, but I was looking at others and comparing their success to my own, which is the worst thing to do. I didn’t feel like I was growing professionally, I felt more than competent to take on more responsibility at work but didn’t see an avenue to pursue this growth. I’d never traveled beyond the Caribbean and I wanted to see the world so bad, I didn’t have my own apartment nor did I have a car (which was a personal choice) but hey it could’ve been nice, and I was single and hadn’t been in a substantial relationships since I was in my late teens. Humility came with acknowledging that I was more than capable of having everything my heart desired simply by putting my life in God’s hands wholeheartedly. I wouldn’t complain about my job, I would thank God for it. I wouldn’t pout when hopping into a friend’s new car I would thank God for their blessings. I shut my mouth and continued to pursue excellence in all aspects of my life even though I didn’t see nor did I fathom the plans and the ways God would shake up my life in 2014. I found peace, not only in my present but in my future. My security in God grew stronger and I learned how to truly forgive. Forgive my past, forgive those who said something to me or did something to me that did not align with how God defined me, now all that was left to do was watch God’s plans unfold and it did.

After getting baptized in January and declaring publicly that the lord was my savior, I soon booked a trip to Europe that changed my life. I planned my first event for my organization Reserved that turned out to be a success. I went to a seminar that taught me how to write and publish my own book. I went on to travel through Europe and all the cities I only dreamed of seeing. It changed my life and showed me that all things were possible through God. I came back from Europe only to discover that I was getting a raise and a bonus at work…what? I wasn’t expecting both. I completely bounced back financially overnight, it was as if I never took money out of my bank account to pay for Europe; all was covered. I started dedicating my Tuesday nights to prayer meetings at my church. The thing that I enjoyed about prayer meeting was that it taught me how to be selfless. We didn’t spend two hours praying for ourselves and our own problems, we prayed for others. We prayed for those individuals living in Asia, Haiti, and the forgotten Native Americans suffering from alcoholism and poverty on reservations. We prayed for women caught up in human trafficking and for people whose family members were suffering from cancer, mental illness, and other serious ailments. I learned that the world didn’t revolve around me, I learned to pray and I learned to worship. I even began listening to gospel music. Alpha and Omega by Israel Houghton is my favorite song ever. Eventually, things began to look up for me.

I began to take the idea of going back to school seriously. What I would go to school for was still a mystery but I knew I was beginning to love business and entrepreneurship and I always wanted to be a writer and write for a magazine.

I stopped partying as much, matter fact I didn’t party at all, yet one day I decided to go to an event called “The Greatest Day Ever” and met my boyfriend. Turns out he’s so gentle, giving, and intelligent, a little bit CRAY-CRAY, very introverted but overall a great person and I am happy he’s in my life. I soon realized in order to pursue a new relationship I would need to make sure my closet was completely cleaned and all skeletons were gone. I co-hosted a sister circle with some of my closest friends. We spent the whole day forgiving; forgiving our past, confronting skeletons that were holding us back, and praying for one another. We wrote our insecurities on an index card and released it out of our souls. It was one of the highlights of my year. All was forgiven.

Later on in the year, I began to plan to go to South Africa. Africa was just a mere dream of mine and it was just about to become a reality when my manager left the company and I was promoted into her position. Promotion comes from God, and that had God’s promise written all over it. Now, I am sitting in my bed pretty much typing my year in review anticipating my conclusion so I can thank God for his blessings. But before I do that, I want to share the inspiration for this post. I was listening to a sermon today by my Pastor Cymbala and he preached about peace and the four types of peace we need to have in our lives and in this New Year:

  • Peace with God (When you have peace with God, there’s an understanding that you’re covered)
  • Peace that covers our past (Letting go of the recriminations and sorrowful memories that might be holding you back. It is what it is; you can’t change your past all you can do is forgive yourself and others)
  • Peace that covers the present (Letting go of those feelings of inadequacy and desires of not having what you want at a certain age or not being where you want to be. Be content in what you are blessed with but continue to pursue your goals.)
  • Peace that covers the future (being secure in that all things work together for the greater good)

In life, there are ups and downs, highs and lows, good days and bad days. But one of the things God has shown me this year is that he has a plan for each and every one of our lives and it is not chance or coincidence that we are where we currently are in our lives. We are exactly where we need to be. The present, no matter how monotonous it might be, is preparing us for our future and our past cannot be changed so let go of the baggage. God has mapped out our life from when we take our first breath to when we take our last and we have to be secure in knowing that he knows what’s best for us and he will provide beyond our innermost desires. He will unleash dreams we never imagined could unfold in our lives. So get ready.

Peace, Love and Happy Holidays!

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Getting To Know Someone…Again

To some people, one of the most annoying things about meeting someone new is the process of getting to know them. I have to admit, I used to feel this way but ever since I met my boyfriend, getting to know him is one of the most pivotal (and fun) times in our relationship. In a sense, we are setting a foundation for the rest of the relationship by dictating our likes and dislikes, standards, and deal-breakers.

I kept my standards high waiting for the moment when my Prince Charming would whisk me off my feet and that kind-of-sort-of happened. He noticed me at a party/concert we both attended and asked if he could put me on his shoulders. I said sure, why not? He picked me up but I landed on his bald head. He asked for a second chance but I told him absolutely not. The whole thing was pretty awkward until he asked for my number and continued on with his night. I did the same.

I thought about him; wondered if he would contact me but didn’t think anything of our exchange. Yes, his approach was like no other. I mean, no one has ever asked me if they could put me on their shoulders which is why he stuck out in my head, but aside from that, I wasn’t interested in getting to know someone new. I was sick of the whole dating scene. I just wanted to be single.

He contacted me a couple of days later and I found out he was a special-education teacher, he received his degree from Boston College, his masters from Pace University and he was from Harlem. Although I was open to meeting someone new, I was not excited about it (in spite of his credentials). He was persistent and after a few weeks of texting, we talked on the phone and sparks flew. Was this the guy I was waiting for my whole life? Our conversation was effortless. We talked for 3-hours and would’ve talked longer if I didn’t have to jump on a conference call. Every day leading up to our first date was filled with great conversation. Everything was new and fresh and we wanted to know everything about one another.

So we came up with 21 questions for each other. We each thought of random questions to ask one another to elicit conversation. Some of his questions dealt with the future he wanted to build with someone, while mine focused on who he was at his core. These questions proved to be helpful conversation starters but that wasn’t something we had issues with anyway. We enjoyed talking to one another and no question or topic was ever off-limits.

In the case of my boyfriend, I don’t mind getting to know him because he’s special and I’m really into him. If I could know everything about his past I would because when you like someone you just want to know everything about their lives.

(Or maybe that’s just me)

Some helpful conversation starters:

  1. Name, Age, Where did you grow up?
  2. What are your views on love?
  3. Do you believe sex before marriage is wrong?
  4. Are you spiritual? What is your religion?
  5. Do you want to get married? When?
  6. What do you fear about commitment?
  7. What do you love about settling down?
  8. Do you drink? Smoke?
  9. Have you ever cheated?
  10. What led to the demise of your past relationship?
  11. What kind of relationship do you have with your parents?
  12. Do you have a lot of friends? Who is your best friend?
  13. Do you have children? Do you want children?
  14. Where do you work? Have you discovered what you always wanted to do?
  15. What are your interests? Passions? hobbies? Typical Friday night for you?
  16. Do you live alone? with family?
  17. Where do you go to school?
  18. How often do you believe date nights should be?
  19. Do you travel? Where have you traveled to?
  20. What would you have done differently in your last relationship?
  21. How important is health and fitness in your life?
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The Journey To My First Adult Relationship

I’ve been single since I could remember. After my first real relationship crumbled at 18, I’ve never been in a committed relationship since. I’ve been in pseudo relationships, you know, the ones where you’re together, but not really together. I’ve also been in the fill the void relationship, where you’re together but nothing about this union is representative of a real relationship. Before I knew it, I was 25, single, mingling but disappointed with the prospects, celibate and annoyed with my spinsterhood.

Reality hit me after I came back from Europe. I had an amazing experience and wanted nothing more than to talk to someone other than my friends and family about it. I yearned for a male’s voice in my ears; late-night conversations as I reminisced about the food in Venice and the beaches of Spain. I had no one to call because I pushed all-male companionship out of my life in an effort to get closer to God. I began to talk to my fill the void guy, but soon realized he still wasn’t ready for something serious; he got older, but his games were the same.

A few months later, I attended my friend’s wedding in the Bahamas. It was a blast. We had so much fun and I even met a really cute guy, whom I later found out had a girlfriend (bummer), but I thought I liked him so much. Now, using hindsight I question did I really like him or was my infatuation out of pure desperation?

The Bahamas allowed me to reflect on my love life tremendously. While on the trip, I got some free time to call my fill the void guy, but he seemed so preoccupied, like he couldn’t be bothered. I wasn’t offended; I just knew that would be one of the last times we would talk. I watched two of my friends get married and I was so proud of them. They were adults, in an adult relationship and I was still chasing after the emotionally unavailable. I made a pact to myself, to continue down my path of singlehood. I was doing so well; maybe another year sans men would do the trick. Spinsterhood seemed far more gratifying than dealing with men as a whole.

A day after I returned from the Bahamas, I received a text from a guy that I promised a date night before I went on vacation.

Guy: Hey I haven’t heard from you but was wondering if we were still on for dinner tonight?

Shoot, I totally forgot, I thought. I picked up the phone and called him. I was sick of texting him anyway. How would I go on a date with someone and not once chat on the phone? Technology is the enemy.

Me: Hey, OMG, I’m so sorry I forgot about our dinner tonight. I didn’t want to text you so I decided to call you and really reschedule a time that we would both be available.

My pleas of forgiveness ultimately led to us speaking for about 3-hours. The connection was instant. He was unlike any other guy I’ve spoken to in a while. I was so excited. I know I swore off men but he was different. He made reservations for us to have brunch on Saturday and we talked every night leading up to our first date.

The first date was at Poco’s in the Lower Eastside. I was 2-hours late (major traffic into the city) but he was patient and waited for me until I came. He proved to be thoughtful, having a glass of Hennessey straight waiting for me. One of the first things I remember about him was that he grabbed my hand and held on tight until we got to the restaurant. The next date was a few days later at Spice. I believe it was at this time, I realized I had a thing for him. He was charming, thoughtful and looked at me with those piercing eyes as if he could read the insides of my soul. A few more dates ensued which led up to my favorite date at his house on a Saturday night. We ordered Italian take-out and ate in his living room, which he cleaned up for me because I told him I would love to hang out there. After dinner, we looked through an old record collection his mom passed on to him and listened to the sweet sounds of Jimi Hendrix and Boyz II Men. I found myself near tears, as I sat Indian style on his couch. As simple as it might seem, this was all I ever wanted from a relationship: companionship, commonalities, and someone who loved Boyz II Men as much as me.

One night, after our Scandal premiere party, we got into our first spat. He made an assumption that was totally wrong, and I was disappointed in him. Instead of our disagreement escalating, we talked it out like two-adults in an adult relationship. The irony was that we hadn’t talked about being in a relationship as yet. Once again, I was very impressed with his patience, his ability to admit his wrongs and his desire to make sure I was happy. He didn’t want us to go to bed with anything weighing heavy on our hearts. The next day I received the following text from him:

Guy: Should I ask or will you?

Me: Ask what?

Guy: Will you be my girlfriend” I think we have something

Me: Omg, I totally want to be your girlfriend. I was just waiting for you to ask 😉

And just like that, I was off the market. But what does this all really mean? Is it weird that I feel like I lost a small portion of my freedom? Or that I can no longer do what I want to do without consulting someone first? What about the annoying quirks…can I still feel free to vent to my closest friends about this, or do I now have the obligation to protect him and the reputation of our relationship by all costs? To be honest these questions come out of fear. I am afraid that I don’t have what it takes to be a girlfriend. I fear that we will fall apart as fast as we came together. I’ve always feared commitment. I don’t want to love someone so much and watch it crumble to dust a few years later. What if I do end up marrying him, is it insane that I think about marriage already? How will he propose? When will we buy our first home? I fear that I will end up unhappy and stuck like so many other women who walk down the aisle with high hopes and end up in front of a divorce lawyer. I’m afraid of his past; the girls before me that can expose the man he used to be. I am also afraid of him finding out about my own past. I just might be afraid of it all. Yet all my fears are silenced when I’m with him and he makes me feel like I’m the only girl in the world, his gift from God. It’s a good feeling. I guess these are the risks we all take when jumping head first into a relationship.