To some people, one of the most annoying things about meeting someone new is the process of getting to know them. I have to admit, I used to feel this way but ever since I met my boyfriend, getting to know him is one of the most pivotal (and fun) times in our relationship. In a sense, we are setting a foundation for the rest of the relationship by dictating our likes and dislikes, standards, and deal-breakers.
I kept my standards high waiting for the moment when my Prince Charming would whisk me off my feet and that kind-of-sort-of happened. He noticed me at a party/concert we both attended and asked if he could put me on his shoulders. I said sure, why not? He picked me up but I landed on his bald head. He asked for a second chance but I told him absolutely not. The whole thing was pretty awkward until he asked for my number and continued on with his night. I did the same.
I thought about him; wondered if he would contact me but didn’t think anything of our exchange. Yes, his approach was like no other. I mean, no one has ever asked me if they could put me on their shoulders which is why he stuck out in my head, but aside from that, I wasn’t interested in getting to know someone new. I was sick of the whole dating scene. I just wanted to be single.
He contacted me a couple of days later and I found out he was a special-education teacher, he received his degree from Boston College, his masters from Pace University and he was from Harlem. Although I was open to meeting someone new, I was not excited about it (in spite of his credentials). He was persistent and after a few weeks of texting, we talked on the phone and sparks flew. Was this the guy I was waiting for my whole life? Our conversation was effortless. We talked for 3-hours and would’ve talked longer if I didn’t have to jump on a conference call. Every day leading up to our first date was filled with great conversation. Everything was new and fresh and we wanted to know everything about one another.
So we came up with 21 questions for each other. We each thought of random questions to ask one another to elicit conversation. Some of his questions dealt with the future he wanted to build with someone, while mine focused on who he was at his core. These questions proved to be helpful conversation starters but that wasn’t something we had issues with anyway. We enjoyed talking to one another and no question or topic was ever off-limits.
In the case of my boyfriend, I don’t mind getting to know him because he’s special and I’m really into him. If I could know everything about his past I would because when you like someone you just want to know everything about their lives.
(Or maybe that’s just me)
Some helpful conversation starters:
- Name, Age, Where did you grow up?
- What are your views on love?
- Do you believe sex before marriage is wrong?
- Are you spiritual? What is your religion?
- Do you want to get married? When?
- What do you fear about commitment?
- What do you love about settling down?
- Do you drink? Smoke?
- Have you ever cheated?
- What led to the demise of your past relationship?
- What kind of relationship do you have with your parents?
- Do you have a lot of friends? Who is your best friend?
- Do you have children? Do you want children?
- Where do you work? Have you discovered what you always wanted to do?
- What are your interests? Passions? hobbies? Typical Friday night for you?
- Do you live alone? with family?
- Where do you go to school?
- How often do you believe date nights should be?
- Do you travel? Where have you traveled to?
- What would you have done differently in your last relationship?
- How important is health and fitness in your life?