I Will Not Settle When It Comes To Love

I am going to be really real right now and in my world, things are only real when I write it down. I love, love. I want to be in love. I want to get married. I want to have a splendid wedding. I want to have 1-2 children (Maybe just 1). I want to grow old with my husband, so old, I rub his big potbelly when we are 80 and find that sexy. I’ve wanted these things since I was old enough to remember. I’ve always been a hopeless romantic, and I would sometimes ask God why he made me this way?

When I was 12-years old I started planning my wedding. I still have the binder filled with my chicken scratch of my future wedding plans. My friend Nikki is my witness; she was on the phone with me creating her own outline for the perfect wedding. I want to get married on a beautiful island or on a beautiful estate. I want the wedding to be such a love fest, there will be no dry eyes in sight. I never really wanted bridesmaids like that—I have so many great friends it would be hard to choose, plus I’ve always thought they were unnecessary (Thank You Gabbi and D-Wade for showing me I’m not alone). For my reception, I will change my dress of course, into something form-fitting and comfortable. Most importantly, the party won’t stop. I don’t want a reception that’s only 2-hours. This will be a celebration, so we are partying and drinking all night!

I am writing this down because I don’t want to ever forget this. Sometimes, in life, we forget the things that we always dreamed of and we settle. We meet someone, we know they may not want the same things that we want, and just for the sake of finding someone or not being lonely, we settle for what they have to give. Well, I am saying today, I don’t want to settle. I don’t want no mediocre love over here. I want, what I want!

The following things are sources of inspiration that remind me that I can find the love that I want and never settle for mediocre love. Hope it can be a form of encouragement for you as well:

1.Gabrielle Union and Dwayne Wade’s Wedding: This post is inspired by this wedding video. I watched it and realized I love their wedding. I know it sounds surface and superficial but it’s not. You know how girls do, when we get into a relationship—we automatically think “could he be the one?” I do this all the time. In my last relationship, we talked about marriage a few times and I felt like I would have to compromise what I wanted because we didn’t have the funds to do something elaborate right now. Now I am realizing, I never want to do that ever again.

2. Monica + Quincy from Love and Basketball: “ I want to find a love like Monica and Quincy” I wrote that in my diary when I was 11-years old after going to see Love and Basketball when it came out in the theaters. It was the first love I’ve ever seen that was so palpable. I craved it. I prayed for it. It’s a constant reminder that with love, there’s no pride. Go for the one you want.


3. Jagged Edge “I Gotta Be”: You make me whole/You make me right/Don’t ever want to think about you leaving my life. I love this song with all of my heart. When I hear it, I realize I want someone to love me that much!

4.The Holy Spirit: Even when I try to do something that’s not aligned with God’s will for me, it never works. My spirit feels so off and not at peace. So I know with God in my heart, I could never be okay with just settling.

5. 5 Keys to Identifying your Soul Mates by Toure Roberts: This preaching was filled with so many jewels. Not to settle. Not to assume you have chemistry with everyone you have something in common with. Being woman enough to tell a man when you’re not ready. Most importantly, it taught me the signs of finding your true soul mate. Straight jewels. Now, I have no problem with waiting if it means, I will be whole when I meet my soul mate.

6. Alicia Keys + Swizz Beats: Man there’s something about them that I love. I think it’s their ability, as a couple, to wholeheartedly accept one another. Creatively, spiritually, emotionally, it seems like they bring out the best in each other, while still maintaining this down-to-earth outlook on life.


7. Juanita Buynum”No More Sheets”: No words can describe this teaching by Juanita Buynum. Just watch.

8. Michelle + Barack: I don’t think they’re perfect, but they have something special. It feels oh so REAL!

Chinese President Xi Jinping State Visit At The White House

9. Monica “Love All Over Me”: I choose this song because it illustrates to me that sometimes, in order to move forward, we have to leave the past behind and follow God’s destiny for our lives.

10.First: I just discovered this show but it really hit home for me because I could relate to it. It moved me!

Last but not least, believing that if God gave me love before, he can do it again.


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2 Replies to “I Will Not Settle When It Comes To Love”

  1. Recently found your blog. I can so relate to many of the posts. You are a beautiful person. Thanks for your transparency. Continue to bless the world with your blog!

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