Tag: love

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March Life Update Part 1

I kicked off the month of March in Connecticut and had a distraction of party planning. My party was on March 9th and while I was about 80% complete with planning I still had some loose ends to solve for including whether or not I would have a violinist and which photographer I was going to confirm. Sam drove Ginger and I back home but not before a stop to the Nike Clearance Store in Flushing Queens where he bought a bunch of sneakers and I left with this really cozy Nike Hoodie. Here’s a photo of Ginger surrounded by all of the sneaker chaos. 

My birthday party was 3 days before my actual birthday. To prep I decided to go to Cityrenerose New York Luxury Salon for the first time for a hair cut/bob. My experience there was nothing short of fabulous. The decor is Black, Gold/Mustard Yellow and white. When you go in they greet you and give you a robe to wear throughout your experience. When I got my hair washed, I was able to get answers to some of my hair questions and my stylist just shared some dos and don’ts with me about my hair in order for me to keep it healthy. Kendra, my hair stylist was so kind. I have to admit, I knew I had some heat damage and was nervous about my hair being silk pressed because of it. I was also nervous that my hair would turn out horrible. All of my fears were thrown out the window, when we went with the bob cutting off damage and starting again on my hair growth journey. As the days went on my bob just got better and better. 

The night before my birthday, I had a last minute outfit change thanks to my mom’s genius styling brain. She saved me from being a basic B at my own birthday party. The day of, I was feeling good and praying the weather would get better. The forecast showed rain, and boy did it rain, torrentially. The only thing I really had to do was get my make up done at Sephora. The girls who usually do my make up was not working so I had a new girl which is fine. The only problem is she took really long to do my make up and up-charged me because it took her long. I’ve never had this issue before but I wanted to maintain a stress free day so I just paid and left. My make up appointment which was only supposed to be an hour ran to two hours and ultimately made me late to my own birthday party (the audacity). I text everyone that they could be late. When I got, to the venue after rushing home to get dressed, the friends that were there helped me to set up. I love them. Also, my Bcake NY red velvet floral cake and inspired design turned out BEAUTIFUL.

The party itself was fabulous. The vibes were beautiful. The florist did an amazing job facilitating the workshop and choosing my favorite flowers. The venue owner stayed close by to ensure everything went smooth. The violinist set the mood with great vibes. The photographer took really beautiful and bold photos that captured the moment so vividly. For goodie bags I gave everyone the book that inspired my birthday party and my friend donated Affirmation Cards from her business to my gift bags which was the perfect tie in. I plan to do a deep dive video on the party planning itself but my birthday was a DREAM (my grandmother’s favorite term). It was so healing and beautiful being in community with my village and creating flower arrangements. Did it, cost me a pretty penny? ABSOLUTELY but it was an investment in my joy which to be honest is priceless.

Special Shout out to my black-owned and women owned vendors (and please support):
BCake NY @BCAKENY
Blncd THC Infused Drinks @BLNCDNATURALS
Damora Regala Photography @MOMENTSBYDAMORA
Devon Webster aka Maestro Kaiso Violinist @MAESTROKAISO
Myleka Caesar Bullock of Glorious Vines @GLORIOUSVINES
Shell’s Loft Venue @SHELLSLOFT
Sherleen Bruno of B.Luxe Blooms @B.LUXE_BLOOMS

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February 2024 Life Update Part 2

With valentines day consuming the first half of the month, Sam and I did a date night at Brooklyn Beso. I was also doing some location scouting since I spent most of the month planning my 35th Birthday party. Brooklyn Beso had delish (yet very strong drinks) and I had the most delish lobster and shrimp pasta. Sam had vegan tacos which was tasty and we of course went for happy hour which meant two for one drinks, but on a school night meant we left one of the drinks at the table because we are not about that life. The vibes were made complete with old school Drake playing in the background. I miss the old drake he was my favorite, but I don’t know what’s going on with him now.

For valentines day Sam sent me a bouquet of colorful roses, which was a complete surprise, it arrived early on February 13th and to be honest I’ve been working so much that I didn’t realize it was valentines day the next day (so sad). 

I am turning 35 in March, woohoo, so I’ve had my head down planning my party which although I’ve been planning it since July 2023, I officially confirmed that I was actually going to move forward with the party in January 2024. That left me less than two month to plan something epic, no pressure. The first book I read in January was called Dare to Bloom. It had such a lasting impact on me that I decided to host a “Kydee Bloom Season 35th Birthday Party” in which a floral arrangement workshop would be the focal point of the event. I was very intentional about planning this party which I will share all the details in an upcoming post. Black-owned, black-women owned, and women owned businesses and vendors were prioritized for my event. Not only was my birthday taking place during Women’s History Month, but I am a stark advocate for supporting black-owned and diverse-owned businesses who don’t have the same level of access and representation as others.

Some of the fun parts about planning my birthday included shopping for the perfect outfit. My birthday happens at that weird time in the year for fashion where its about a couple of weeks before the spring/summer cute outfits come out for the season, so I usually have the dreary winter outfits to work with which means I must search extra hard for cute outfits. I ended up wearing a black-owned designer Hanifa, but that was not on purposes, I was open to any designer and any outfit that said “Birthday Girl” without having to say it and made me feel good. I bought several outfits and will share in an upcoming birthday post about the overall process. For now, check out my outfit mood board below.

I went cake tasting at BCake Ny a black-woman owned bakery that I have been purchasing my cakes from for the last 3 years. This time I decided to do a cake tasting to see if there were any other cake tasting flavors I liked over my typical vanilla or Hennessy. The cake tasting experience was so fun. I got to choose from an array of flavors (my choices) which included red velvet, blue velvet, strawberry, chocolate and I threw in another Hennessy flavor to see if I wanted that again. All of them tasted great. Strawberry and chocolate was a strong consideration but I ended up going with the red velvet. After I decided on a flavor, the manager helped me design my cake which would be floral design. I shared my birthday party invite and she was so inspired by it that she designed such a beautiful cake. Can’t wait to share the big reveal of what we concocted that day.

A Little Day Brunch is a company that my former colleague turned Brooklyn friend owns. She hosted a Black Joy Brunch for the month of February and it was one of the best brunches I’ve ever been to. I really wish I had someone to come with me and experience the magic. While there I met an amazing photographer Damora who took the most flattering photos of me. She made me feel confident and beautiful and I knew I had to work with her somehow, in the future.

The brunch was a four course meal made by Chef Lauren Von Der Pool and her team. Chef Lauren curated the menu for the MET gala which made our time in community with her extra special. The vibes and music for the event really made for a great experience. I felt like those ladies of leisure who just brunch because they are rich and have nothing else to do. I am wondering how I can make this my lifestyle, a life of leisure…did anyone say early retirement?

My health is a priority this year. I visited a new PCP doctor after doing research in January and let me tell you, it’s so important to do research. For context, I went to another doctor the month before and before I could even be seen I ran out of the facility. Something didn’t feel right. So going back to my list of doctors, I did some more research, looking at comments, reviews, specialities, and chose this one and so far so good. She’s thorough and while she seems no nonsense, I can tell she genuinely cares.

To close out the month I went to Connecticut to visit Sam. It was me and Ginger’s first time taking the train and to be honest I didn’t know what to expect. I bought Ginger a dog bag with wheels in hopes it would make travel a little more seamless but the wheels gave in before we got to Grand Central Station. I had to carry her on my suitcase.

Besides that little mishap we had a smooth ride to Connecticut and Sam was waiting for us at the train station. I will say my time in Connecticut was a little better this time than the last time but I am still not convinced about that state. Me and Sam tried food from a local vegan spot that has some West Indian / Ital vibes called Fire N Spice. We enjoyed their breakfast the most, they had delicious tofu scramble, pepper and onions sausages, and cheese burger patties, YUM! 

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By Ky Book Recommendation”Forbidden Fruit: Love Stories from the Underground Railroad”

Forbidden Fruit: Love Stories from the Underground Railroad by Betty Deramus truly illustrates that love conquerors all. Even is a despicable system such as Slavery, black people were able to find hope in love, marriage, and freedom.

You can purchase this book recommendation here: https://kit.co/Lifestylebyky/books-by-ky 

Click SUBSCRIBE to support and FOLLOW @Booksbyky on Instagram.

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Life is Ambivalent

The 52 List Project (10)

Life is ambivalent. There is a time for everything, according to Ecclesiastes 3. My notion of life has left me with conflicting feelings this past year. Let me explain why.

A few months before turning 30, I met someone. After spending years of writing in my journal and praying about the type of partner I wanted, he appeared when I least expected and where I least expected as well. Up until a week before meeting him, I have a note in my phone exclaiming “I wonder what my future partner is doing right now. Who is he? What are his fears? What are his goals? Will I recognize him? The story of how we met is one I will save for the future, but from the start, we both knew we wanted to be intentional. He was truly a blessing and the first of a wave of change and answered prayers in my life. A few months after that, I celebrated an epic 30th birthday with my friends and family and when I returned from my travels, I was officially promoted. When I became a Manager of a department at a major TV network, my colleagues thought it was meteoric. For me, it meant the world and I was excited but I wouldn’t use the words meteoric. You see, when I broke into the media industry, I had worked for a financial technology company for five years as the CEO’s assistant. I did not want to be an assistant anymore, but I was having a hard time breaking into media, so I had to start over, in this new industry as an assistant….again. To learn more, watch my Career Journey video. Throughout this whole time, I wondered if I would ever escape the entry-level administrative role and move into management. I was afraid that I was being pigeonholed and that assisting was going to be my fate. But after 7-years, I moved up and was on the track to being an executive, which is my ultimate goal. 5+2=7 and 7 is the biblical year of completion. This was a cause for the utmost celebration, but I barely told a soul. I was afraid. Fear seeped into me and told me it was not real; that It would be taken from me at any moment.

In the midst of this immense harvest season, I was simultaneously dealing with three sick immediate family members. Two out of three dealing with cancer, radiation, and hospitals. Hearing someone you love ail in pain every night and there’s nothing you can do about it is agonizing. This pain resulted in a loss of a few friendships because I did not have room for anyone who added more of an emotional burden on my life. It was just that simple.

These conflicting situations are the epitome of ambivalence in life. I was unhappy when all of the things I prayed for came to fruition. I felt guilty about celebrating when I had a sick family member back at home. I thought the good that I had would be removed from my life the minute I got too comfortable with it. I developed a skeptic mindset. But skepticism shows a lack of faith. I wish I had the solution but I am still working through this. Sometimes acknowledging there is a disconnect is the first step towards building in an area that you are weak in. That weak area for me is understanding that with God, no matter how bad the situation is, he always works things out for good…so celebrate through the good and celebrate through the not so good. 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18 we are told to, “Rejoice evermore. Pray without ceasing. In everything give thanks: for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus concerning you.” It’s going to take a lot of spiritual maturity for me to fully grasp this concept but I am working on it.

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Self-Care Tips for 2017

IMG_5228.JPGI first learned the term “Self-Care” in 2016 while at Blavity’s first Women’s Conference called “Empower Her.” I listened intently to a group of panelists, zeroing in on Francheska of HeyFranHey as she discussed self-care and the importance of taking a break from the world when it gets tough. Some of her tips included:

(1) Turning off your phone

(2) Meditating

(3) Taking nice baths

I thought these were great ideas. You can read some more about her tips here in this recent article published by the Huffington Post Black Voices. Hey Fran Hey, inspired me to create 5-self-care tips of my own that I want to share with you all for 2017:

  1. Prayer (Church): First, let me address what church does for me. Even before I was a believer, I always went to church. Initially, I was forced by my mother but eventually, it became a personal choice. I would go after spending all night out at a party, I would go when I knew I was doing everything God didn’t want me to do; it didn’t matter, I would still go. There was something captivating about Church. The peace I had as the service ended and feeling more encouraged to tackle the cruel world eventually had an effect on me. Today, it still serves as my refuge. A place where I can lift my hands and worship Jesus through song and prayer for all he’s brought me through. As I mature in my walk with Christ, I realize that I don’t have to get down on my knees to talk to God, I can talk to him throughout the day, when I’m in the elevator, on the train, at work, in my head, out loud, it doesn’t matter, because he’s always there. Sometimes saying a simple prayer about whatever is bothering me, makes me feel better. Sometimes, reading a spiritually based devotional or the bible makes me feel better too. I feel like prayer is a very important self-care tip, if not the most important because you have the security in knowing that you are not alone. God sees everything; he knows what you’re going through before you even say it. He can intervene on our behalf, we just have to talk to him.
  2. Limit Social Media Intake: Notice I said limit, I didn’t say get rid of completely (although for some people that works too). For me, social media has become a part of my life. It’s where I discover news and keep up to date with my family and friends. In reality, I don’t want to rid myself of it entirely, but I understand that if I spend too much time on it, it becomes overwhelming. I also know how draining it is to follow people who only post negative or nonsensical things. So, if you’re like me try limiting your social media intake. Spend10-15minutes on Facebook or Instagram a day. Unfollow the people who annoy you for peace of mind and keep it moving.
  3. Read a book: I love reading so this might be a bit self-indulgent but getting sucked into an amazing book is one of the best feelings ever. I always feel most accomplished and fulfilled after I finish a great book. It definitely helps to take your mind off of everything else.
  4. Positive Vibes: Hanging out with people who have amazing vibes is one of the best feelings in the world. Discovering a new restaurant or spot that you enjoy is equally as amazing. Being surrounded by positivity is one of the best self-care tips I can suggest for anyone. Self-care doesn’t always mean you’re isolated and alone. It has taken on a new meaning for me in recent months as I discovered a tribe of women who I can just be transparent with, letting my hair down, discussing insecurities and imperfections and not feeling judged according to my flaws. I can’t emphasize the importance of positive vibes in everything you do whether it’s the friends you choose, the people you choose to work with, or even the places you visit during a night on the town. You make the choice, and the choice has to be one that makes you feel good.
  5. Activities: I dance in the mirror. It’s something that I do. I like looking at myself while I dance. It makes me happy. Weird quirks aside, I like to paint, take a class that builds a skill (TV Writing, DJ’ing, Cooking), take myself out to dinner or a movie, write, exercise (don’t sleep on a Twerkout or Aerial Yoga), make collages, watch DVDs…basically, I do anything that makes me feel good. I try not to limit myself and what I do and you shouldn’t either!

What are some of your self-care tips?

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Contentment

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I walked home from church one Saturday afternoon, after spending the whole morning writing scripts for our Sunday school’s upcoming lessons. I passed through Park Slope and debated if I should go to my favorite Chinese restaurant, Mr. Wonton.  My stomach cravings got the best of me. I walked in and noticed a young, black woman, sitting in the corner, eating General Tso’s Chicken. She was alone. I was empowered by how carefree she was. I’ve eaten by myself before, but seeing her there, at that moment, reminded me how long it’s been since I’ve been a solo diner. I asked for a seat in the back of her, not to be a lurker but her area offered the best seating in the restaurant. I ordered shrimp fried rice and a shrimp roll. They brought over noodle chips with a bowl of duck sauce. I giddily enjoyed a delicious meal, and my fortune told me “If you can shape it in your mind, you will find it in your life…”

That simple moment led me to think about how content I was. I am single. I’ve been single for quite some time now, however it was the first time in my life where I didn’t feel shame about my singleness or even, complain about it. I love myself. I really do, and it took such a long time to get here but I am here. I don’t want to settle in a relationship. I don’t want to attract men with empty promises and an inability to be faithful. I don’t want to compromise myself anymore. I don’t want to lose myself either. I don’t want to give and not get the same back in return. I don’t want to feel alone, even though I have the title of a girlfriend. I don’t want to be worried about where my man is or why he hasn’t called me all day. I don’t want to question if he will feel the same joy that I feel about my birthday or Valentine’s Day. I don’t want to push my man to make more ambitious strides with his life without the same support from him. I don’t want to teach a man how to be a man. I’ve grown tired of it all.

My table was set for two. I looked at the empty seat in front of me, but it didn’t taunt me. It represented the ghosts of the many men that came before that just didn’t work out. It also represented the bright future ahead of me. I’ve given my love life to God. So while he does the work in me, I know there’s going to be many other times where I will be dating myself, and that’s okay. I am content in where I am right now because I know I am being prepared for a relationship that will last forever.

 

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My Top 15 Moments in 2015

  1. My Vision Board Party

I think having a Vision Board party in January set the tone for an amazing year. I still get comments from my friends saying their vision boards helped them check off goals on their list that they probably wouldn’t have done without the help of their boards reminding them. My board is still something that empowers me when I look at it. I am encouraged to remain strong-willed and grounded.

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  1. Dubai

That glitch fare on Christmas day last year allowed me to go to Dubai for only $200. What a blessing that was. Dubai’s desert was probably my favorite part. That vast landscape of beautiful sand and horizon is something that will forever be embedded in my heart.

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Continue reading “My Top 15 Moments in 2015”

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Fantasies, False Hope, & Ungodly Soul Ties

IMG_0563-1Like many women, when I meet a guy that I actually like, I allow my mind to create a whirlwind of thoughts for what our perfect relationship would look like. Some might call these thoughts fantasies, which is completely normal and healthy. We all have them, don’t we? Well, according to Psychology Today:

“Fantasies are not frivolous. They can be entertaining, distracting, frightening, even arousing, but they also allow for creativity and help us plan for the future. As long as we don’t mistake fantasies for reality…”

As long as we don’t mistake fantasies for reality. As women, it’s pretty hard to meet someone we are really into and not have some sort of expectation for the future. That’s like telling someone, let’s go to Disney World but don’t expect to go on the rides. In saying this, I want to touch on this idea of fantasies and the false hope that it brings about; I am encouraged to tie this in with my series on soul ties. As with all of my soul ties post, I am about to get real, I am going to expose some of my vulnerabilities and you all might think I am completely insane, but that’s okay.

Side Note: I am a Pisces, and even though I am not into that astrology stuff anymore, Pisces tend to be dreamers, we want the happy endings, we believe in the good of all people. When I think of us, I can imagine that we would be content skipping through a big field of sunflowers, catching butterflies and enjoying the fresh air and sunlight. So please don’t judge me. Like for real, what I am about to say sounds even crazy to me.

Continue reading “Fantasies, False Hope, & Ungodly Soul Ties”

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Ungodly Soul Ties

Kydee williamsSoul Ties have been on my mind and heart for a while now, but very strongly this past weekend. I learned about soul ties about three years ago. I was actually weaning myself off of one when someone told me what it was. The strong feelings associated with this person no longer being in my life made sense now. I wasn’t crazy. I was in a soul tie! Throughout this post, I am going to share some of the things I’ve learned about soul ties along with my own personal experiences.

To start, there are two types of soul ties, an Ungodly Soul Tie, and a Godly Soul tie. For the purposes of this post, I am going to focus on the Ungodly Soul Tie. As always, expect complete transparency.

Soul ties represent a bond. These bonds or soul bonds are created through people and things. What normally ends up happening is that you become dependent and attached to them. The deeper the bond, the more difficult it is to break. Sometimes we don’t know how tied we are to someone or something until it’s time to give it up.

I was with someone for about 9-years. Now, if we are going to be real, I was only really with them in a relationship for about 4-years. The other 5-years we were in a “friends with benefits” arrangement. When it was time to break away from him, no one around me understood why it was so hard for me to do so:

“Yall broke up years ago, why do you still care about him?”

“He’s moved on and so should you!”

“That was just puppy love… that shouldn’t matter now.”

Their responses were callous. They didn’t understand how much it hurt to let this person go. I depended on him. I called him whenever something was going right or wrong and he was there for me. I sought his approval. I LOVED him. More importantly, they didn’t understand that I was in a soul tie so strong that it couldn’t easily be cured with a Girl’s Night Out or meeting someone new, it was deep. It was spiritual. It was warfare.

There are various ways a soul tie can form:

Continue reading “Ungodly Soul Ties”

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I Will Not Settle When It Comes To Love

I am going to be really real right now and in my world, things are only real when I write it down. I love, love. I want to be in love. I want to get married. I want to have a splendid wedding. I want to have 1-2 children (Maybe just 1). I want to grow old with my husband, so old, I rub his big potbelly when we are 80 and find that sexy. I’ve wanted these things since I was old enough to remember. I’ve always been a hopeless romantic, and I would sometimes ask God why he made me this way?

When I was 12-years old I started planning my wedding. I still have the binder filled with my chicken scratch of my future wedding plans. My friend Nikki is my witness; she was on the phone with me creating her own outline for the perfect wedding. I want to get married on a beautiful island or on a beautiful estate. I want the wedding to be such a love fest, there will be no dry eyes in sight. I never really wanted bridesmaids like that—I have so many great friends it would be hard to choose, plus I’ve always thought they were unnecessary (Thank You Gabbi and D-Wade for showing me I’m not alone). For my reception, I will change my dress of course, into something form-fitting and comfortable. Most importantly, the party won’t stop. I don’t want a reception that’s only 2-hours. This will be a celebration, so we are partying and drinking all night!

I am writing this down because I don’t want to ever forget this. Sometimes, in life, we forget the things that we always dreamed of and we settle. We meet someone, we know they may not want the same things that we want, and just for the sake of finding someone or not being lonely, we settle for what they have to give. Well, I am saying today, I don’t want to settle. I don’t want no mediocre love over here. I want, what I want!

The following things are sources of inspiration that remind me that I can find the love that I want and never settle for mediocre love. Hope it can be a form of encouragement for you as well:

1.Gabrielle Union and Dwayne Wade’s Wedding: This post is inspired by this wedding video. I watched it and realized I love their wedding. I know it sounds surface and superficial but it’s not. You know how girls do, when we get into a relationship—we automatically think “could he be the one?” I do this all the time. In my last relationship, we talked about marriage a few times and I felt like I would have to compromise what I wanted because we didn’t have the funds to do something elaborate right now. Now I am realizing, I never want to do that ever again.

Continue reading “I Will Not Settle When It Comes To Love”